David Blaine: His Only Crime is Being Awesome

When a stranger runs up to you and steals your watch, you’ve been mugged. When David Blaine chats you up, and is then holding your watch in his hand, you’ve experienced illusion! It’s an important distinction to understand if you’re going to see Blaine tonight at the Winspear Opera House;...

By Jamie Laughlin

January 12, 2012

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When a stranger runs up to you and steals your watch, you’ve been mugged. When David Blaine chats you up, and is then holding your watch in his hand, you’ve experienced illusion! It’s an important distinction to understand if you’re going to see Blaine tonight at the Winspear Opera House; it might stop an awkward and unwarranted call to the police. See, that’s Blaine’s thing, he’s mischievous. You’ll be sitting in the front row and suddenly your car will appear onstage and Blaine will be inside, flipping you the bird. You will be pissed, but applaud anyway. Next Blaine will levitate in your Hyundai, together magician and automobile will float around the room, silently mocking you and your shitty insurance policy. “You should have had those unsightly dents popped out ages ago,” his smirk will say. Again you will applaud so as not to seem like an uptight bro with no sense of humor. Finally, you’ll look to the seat next to you and your girlfriend will have vanished. What’s that? Blaine’s got her, too? After you paid for her ticket? Yes, I’m sorry. David Blaine has stolen your car, girlfriend, and virility — no, wait — he “illusioned” them. Blaine messes with reality at 8 p.m. on Thursday, January 12 at 2403 Flora St. Tickets cost $20 to $75. Get 'em at www.attpac.org.
Thu., Jan. 12, 8 p.m., 2012

Jamie Laughlin

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