Smurf Fetish

How do you get yourself famous? Is it necessary to sleep to the top like Oprah Winfrey's slutty ass did? Or, is it all about being the most talented person in your field, like Brooke Hogan is in the field of Wearing Clothes That Don’'t Fit and Being Gross-Faced? What's...

By Alice Laussade

October 4, 2007

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How do you get yourself famous? Is it necessary to sleep to the top like Oprah Winfrey's slutty ass did? Or, is it all about being the most talented person in your field, like Brooke Hogan is in the field of Wearing Clothes That Don’'t Fit and Being Gross-Faced? What's the first thing that tells you you've made it? Is it when the giant piles of cocaine show up on your dinner table, or when fans start asking you to autograph photos of your Furby exiting a car? Does getting a DUI make you famous—or is it the going-to-rehab part? And how do you know when you can start making crazy demands for your dressing room—e.g. 1-inch ice cubes only, giraffes, 47-degree Cherry Tab ("They don't make Cherry Tab!" "Invent it, bitch!")? Get answers to all of your questions about what it takes to become a Megastar 8 p.m. Saturday when Blue Man Group's How to Be a Megastar Tour 2.1 takes over American Airlines Center, 2500 Victory Ave. Tickets are $55 to $85. And parking is another $10 to $25, so if you're not planning on showing up in the Hummlimo, transfer some fundage over to the checking account. Call 214-665-4797 or visit americanairlinescenter.com.
Sat., Oct. 6, 2007

Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.

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