Although Queen has remained hugely popular worldwide for over four decades, the band's albums have always proved rather spotty. As a matter of fact, it can be especially challenging to make it through any of Queen's 14 studio efforts. For every great song ("You're My Best Friend," "39," "Sheer Heart Attack," among others), there are five pretentious clunkers.
Ever since frontman Freddie Mercury passed away in 1991, the remaining members have shuffled in several guest vocalists to keep alive those memories from Queen's '70s heyday. Seeing that the Adam Lambert version of Queen plays tonight at the American Airlines Center, here ten of the worst songs from the band's storied (but sometimes frustrating) career.
The most recognizable Queen song is easily the worst. Hell, the original band didn't even do the whole song live, choosing instead to leave the stage as a taped version provided all the pseudo operatic nonsense. Listening to the version on the truly terrible concert 1979 albumLive Killers
is an embarrassment for both the band and the listeners.2 & 3. Fat Bottomed Girls/Bicycle Race
This double-sided single was the bane of my existence in 1978. FromJazz
, one of Queen's worst albums, both songs represent the antithesis of real rock and roll. "Fat Bottomed Girls" is the more grievous in that it disguises its misogyny under a distinguishable blues-rock guitar riff. "Bicycle Race" is just plain stupid. A horrible mix of vaudeville-inspired rock and pretentious, a cappella nonsense, this song is a disgrace to two-wheelers everywhere.4 & 5. We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions
From the decentNews of the World
album, this double single started out with something akin to a Nazi army march and ended with an overblown anthem to winning at all costs. "We are the Champions" is still sung by eighth grade football teams across the country and that should tell you all you need to know.6. Radio Ga Ga
The '80s were not kind to Queen and this single from 1984 is symbolic of the band's fading fortunes. Off the awful albumThe Works
, "Radio Ga Ga" was an embarrassment from the moment it was conceived.7. Flash
From one of the worst movies ever made, 1980'sFlash Gordon
, this insipid little ditty is lame from start to finish. Queen's music always had a cinematic quality to it, but this is ridiculously shitty.8. Get Down, Make Love
Another bombastic number fromNews of the World
, "Get Down, Make Love" is offensive in intent and execution. The song is the equivalent of 1970s porn done badly. The lyrics are the worst Mercury ever, ahem, came up with and that's saying something.9. Calling All Girls
Considering Mercury's sexual orientation, this horrible little number from 1982'sHot Space
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is both hypocritical and decidedly sexist. Plus, the song just sucks.10. Don't Try Suicide
Good advice gone wrong, there's a reason why Queen has never performed this song live. "Nobody gives a damn," Mercury sang on the chorus. If he was singing about the 10 songs on this list, he was definitely correct.