The Five Silliest Things Trent Reznor Has Ever Said, in Honor of Nine Inch Nails Reforming

Generation Y's teenage favorites Nine Inch Nails announced their reformation on Monday after four years apart. I say "reformation" and "apart", but really it's just Trent Reznor and whoever plays with him, so that should actually read "Trent reformed with himself after four years of not being Nine Inch Nails". There is to be an extensive tour in 2013 and 2014, although no word on any new material, especially given as Trent's other "band that is mainly Trent", How To Destroy Angels, are about to release a new album. This isn't how you promote a new band, Trent, by instantly going, "Shit, better reform the old band in the lead-up to our debut album." but I was one of the black-clad teens that bought all your records in the first place, so I'm not even mad. In honor of Trent's decision, here are a lovingly curated collection of pretentious quotes from the king of miserable industrial metal.

5. "I think there's something strangely musical about noise."

Come on Trent, all music is noise. You should be able to figure that one out. But, not all noise is music, as the last two or three Nine Inch Nails albums proved so successfully. Bonus - flip the two subjects round, and "I think there's something strangely noisy about music" makes Trent sound about 106 years old.

4. "I thought my goal in life was to be in a successful band, and I had got that, but I was as miserable as I had ever been, and I couldn't understand why that would be."

Cheer up, Trent. It can't be all bad. What about all the black clothing you can afford now? Have you seen pictures of yourself circa Pretty Hate Machine? You needed those new clothes, dude. I guess if you did cheer up, you'd probably not be able to write songs, although a NIN major key album about sunshine and rainbows would probably be my favorite record ever, alongside the much-awaited (by me) downbeat Polyphonic Spree concept album about the Jonestown Massacre.

3. "I foolishly thought that if I just 'made it' then everything would be okay. And everything wasn't okay."

I thought we covered this in the last quote. What's up? Can I help? Do you need some soup? I can get you some soup, dude. Just lie down, alright. I've got a 24 box set, you'll love it. We'll keep you away from mean ol' Mr. Recording Studio.

I mean, surely you must like performing live, at the very least?

2. "It's like beating your head open and unzipping your chest cavity saying 'here are my guts - everything I've felt, including a lot of stuff I'm not proud of'. It's hard. It uses you up. I walk off stage sometimes and feel like I've just slept with everybody in the audience."

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Wow, man. I mean, firstly, that would drive up the ticket price immensely, and we'd all be there for hours. I've been to see NIN a few times, and you never called me the next day. Not once. This also leads to a good question. Would you rather watch Trent Reznor pull all of his intestines slowly out of his own chest, or would you rather have sex with him? Late period Reznor, not early, trim Reznor. Well, come to the new reunion tour and you might get both!

1. "An integral part of any relationship is knowing that you could be killed in your sleep at any time."

I hope Trent insisted this was included in his recent wedding vows. Happy wedding day, Mariqueen! Let's both remain aware that either of us could kill the other while we're defenseless... forever!

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