Plano Declares a Water Holiday. Why Waste it on your Lawn?

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If you are a Plano resident, you probably received a letter recently that patted you on the back for your water conservation. And you were also probably informed of an upcoming Water Holiday.

Plano's yards have been baking under water restrictions aimed to cut consumption by 15-20 percent. City spokesman Steve Stoler says Plano residents actually did much better, slashing usage 40 percent, which sounds good, except that when consumption goes down, water stored in the city's tanks sits around too long and goes bad. To increase circulation enough to prevent spoiled water, Plano is going to let residents open up the tap for a bit.

Yep. Apparently water can go bad. "They put chlorine in the water. And when people are using more water, it's circulating so it's safe," says Stoler. "But since people aren't using the water as much, it doesn't circulate."

As it sits there, the chlorine goes away and bacteria can creep in.

Residents who water their lawns every other week can, for one week, let the sprinklers blast on their usual off weeks, meaning they can water three weeks in a row. Even-numbered addresses can party it up this Thursday, and odd-numbered addresses will be able to spend water like it was ... um ... water on Tuesday, July 22.

"We want to emphasize that this is a one-day, one-time thing," Stoler says.

So you'd better make it count, Plano, and we have some suggestions how to best utilize your Water Holiday:

  1. Bust open the fire hydrants and turn your street into a river. Add an inner tube and a case of cheap beer and it'll be just like floating down the Guadalupe. Take care to avoid concrete backside burn, and please keep those tops up, ladies.
  2. Super Soaker attack on Frisco! Blast 'em real good. They can't fight back, because they didn't earn a water holiday. Losers.
  3. Clean all that baked-on bird crap off your car.
  4. Speaking of which, maybe now is a good time to consider a good, long shower, because frankly, Plano, you're getting a little gamey.
  5. Water board your enemies. (See Super Soaker attack, above.)
  6. Stick the garden hose down the back of your bathing suit so it looks like you're peeing all over the yard. Everyone's done that, right? Right? I was a weird kid.
  7. Fill your Suburban with gallon jugs of sweet, sweet Plano water, drive to Wichita Falls and sell it for a hefty profit under the label Pee-Free from Plano.

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