Welcome to the Day After March 31

*Ron Washington's first and only experience with cocaine came at age 57? Of course I believe him. Why wouldn't I?

*Okay, I admit it. I secretly, desperately wish I wrote for the Dallas Morning News and talked for 1310 AM The Ticket and admit that my jealously bleeds through into my sub-par work.

*I totally respect and admire Sarah Palin.

*I trust C.J. Wilson.

*I don't think Erin Andrews is that hot, but man is she an informative sideline reporter.

*I don't really believe what I write, nor do I write what I believe.

*Sure, Tim Tebow is a virgin.

*Truth be told, I'm in awe of NASCAR drivers, women's college basketball and Wade Phillips.

*I think squirrels are cute.

*I'm convinced Dirk Nowitzki is overrated.

*I'm mesmerized by the pro day workouts of guys like Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy because, let's face it, those are totally indicative of what kind of NFL player you're going to see on Sundays next Fall.

*I'd never vote Jon Stewart for President.

*Because I just can't stand to be forced to choose just one, I TiVo both American Idol and Dancing With The Stars.

*I won't miss Texas Stadium one bit. Blow it to smithereens, I say. And, sure, letting some 11-year-old from Terrell push the plunger makes total sense.

*I'm ashamed to say that I was a bully in school and kind of relate to and root for those who pick on others.

*Boy, I was shocked to find out that Ricky Martin is gay. You?

*I cross my fingers the Cowboys draft Dez Bryant, because he seems like a good, young kid with head on straight and his feet on the ground.

*Pamela Anderson: Still hideous after all these years.

*Just wait, Roy Williams will magically "snap out of it" this season.

*I can't eat enough sushi. It's filling. It's affordable. What's not to like?

*Give me a cold beer and country music sitting on the tailgate of my pickup on a Friday night and the world just melts away.

*I think Erykah Badu's Dealy Plaza video was totally authentic. Not staged at all. And, obviously, she's gorgeous.

*I'm honestly sorry to see Tom Hicks go. This cover story was just a pack of lies.

*I take at least one power nap every day. They are so restorative.

*Despite the fact that there are more stars in the sky than there are grains of sand on the Earth, I'm faithfully convinced God created our universe and selected us as the one and only species of human life. We're just "chosen", that's all.

*People with vanity license plates are cocky, just comfortable.

*If nothing else, I am extremely mature.

*Today is not April 1.

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