Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*Been meaning to get to this, but The Ticket is so dominant in Metroplex sports talk radio that at this point it's like digging up Barbaro for another kick to the ribs. In December 1310 AM The Ticket finished first among Men 25-54 in, um, everything. For weekdays The Ticket earned a 7.5 rating, well ahead of 103.3 FM ESPN at 2.5 and 105.3 The Fan at 2.0. ESPN topped The Fan for second place in every hour of the week except 10-11 a.m. and Noon-1 p.m., when some knuckleheads named Newy Scruggs and Richie Whitt edged out Collin Cowherd Michael Irvin.
*Speaking of The Fan, ex-host Sean Salisbury finally comes clean about the penis pic. Better late than never?
*When Wade Phillips says, er, exclaims(?) "We're gonna kick that S.O.B. in!", could you help from chuckling?
*True conversation I had with a hot, tattooed chick last week. Me: "Whatcha drinking?" Her: "Coke, and Dr Pepper." Me: "Mixed? What the ...?" Her: "Yep." Me: "Hmm, whatzit taste like?" Her: "Both." Me: "Weird." Her: "See ya."
*I realize Haiti suffered another earthquake on top of an earthquake, but the most shocking news of the week belongs to your Texas Rangers. Colby Lewis, who last pitched here in 2004, is back and signed and penciled in for the starting rotation. Seriously. I read that and thought I must have napped until April 1.
*Speaking of Haiti, the U.S. has raised $24 million of relief via text. Brilliant! Finally, technology gives us something other than an entertaining way to waste time.
*Saw comedian Eddie Izzard at American Airlines Center last night. The lower bowl was packed; the upper curtained off. He's a funny dude but, eh, I give the show a 7. Cool video boards behind him, but he held his microphone and the scrawny sound was like some high-school drama play coming from one speaker at the corner of the stage. Funniest moment actually came from the crowd. As Eddie was goofing on Opera singers and their unintelligible warble voices, a man in the corner belted out a booming note. Then a woman. Then another man. Izzard's reaction: "Do all Opera singers live in Texas for fuck's sake?!"
*I know I'm late to the party, but hulu.com is the shizz.
*Stayed in a hotel in Dallas last night and was reminded how bizarre it is that they don't have 13th floors. Really? Superstitions are that real? I don't fear numbers. Matter of fact, I'm typing this on my iPhone and - whooop-de-friggin'-doo - just walked under a ladder.
*I'll be at the NBA All-Star Game next month at Cowboys Stadium, but I won't take it seriously. Dirk Nowitzki not being among the Western Conference's five best - or most popular - players is ludicrous. As usual. Allen Iverson?!
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*All things being equal, give me the electric violin.
*Caught some of The Hardline the other day and heard a daily segment called TIT: Today In Tiger. Cute. But for those of you - you know who you are - who keep claiming I steal from the sainted Ticket, me and Newy have been doing a daily Tiger's Wood segment since Monday Nov. 30. Just sayin'.
*Couple 70-degree days and damn I'm ready for Spring.
*For the first time in a long time, I have no Cowboys' Pre-Game Show this weekend. Alas, I do have a platform upon which you can continue to poke fun at me. Remember waaay back in 2009 when somehow I decided it would be a good idea to go without food for 10 days? Well, CBS Channel 11 is going to re-visit my insanity this weekend. Catch my dorkdom tonight with Gina Miller on the 5 p.m. news or Saturday on the 10 p.m. news.