Cheap Bastard

Burger Street: Get Your Lunch with a Side of Ho

There's a Burger Street in a Motel 6 parking lot. Duh. Going there. Gimme the Junior Burger Combo, which comes with a drink and the choice of curly fries or tater tots. Now, there is a huge difference between curly fries and tater tots: curly fries are curly fries and tater tots are basically curly fries that have been predigested, frozen into fun cylinders and then fried up just for me. So the choice is really: Do I want to completely chew my own food, or do I want to eat something that's already been chewed up for me? This day, I choose to chew my own food, and I go with the curly fries. But don't get me wrong here. Sometimes, I love me some tots (That's what MJ said. What, too soon?).

After ordering, I waited in the drive-thru, tripling my carbon footprint, for what must've been at least 200 Mississippis. It was the perfect time to take in my surroundings. There were several little restaurant tables that Burger Street put on the edge of their property, which happens to butt up against the Motel 6 parking lot, in which there was a real live whore. She did the bend-over-at-the-car-window thing to two different cars whilst I waited for my cheeseburger. No shit. I also noticed that I could see my own smiling reflection in the one-way glass that Burger Street uses as windows (Whatcha hiding in there? More whores?) and I realized that it's kinda sad that this burger place has two lanes so that they can serve a million people at once—but there's only one other car in line behind me, and it's 12:30 p.m. Hmm. A burger place with no lunch rush. Should I be worried?

I should always be worried.

But, this time, things worked out all right. The curly fries were the right choice. Crunchy, not floppy. And they came with Hunt's ketchup packets. Sweet. The burger was all right—tasty, for sure, and I appreciated the use of red onions. If you go and you're not a big fan of mayo, be sure to ask them to "go light" with it. I like me some condiments, but I generally like to have my burger with a little mayo as opposed to having my mayo with a little burger. Might go back, if only to sing "Queen of the Night" at the Motel 6 hooker.

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade

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