I love it when out-o'-staters get all Texas up in this piece. It's like they think we live in some giant-sized theme park, where everything's bigger 'n' better 'n' battered and then deep-fried, which isn't wrong, mind you, just a little beside the point. From The Grand Rapids Press up in Michigan comes this little greasy nugget regarding the opening of a BBQ restaurant called the Dallas Deli, which is full of "Don't Mess with Texas" bumper stickers and other, hmm, exotic Texana. I just love the fact this review was written by somone who's never even been to Texas; how's the possible, even? (As Kinky Friedman once wrote, whether you going to heaven or going to hell, you have to change planes at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport.)
As its name implies, the Dallas Deli seeks to provide a Texas-style eating experience. Having never visited that state, I haven't the foggiest idea what that involves. (I tend to avoid places crawling with shotgun-wielding politicians.)
Yee-haw-haw-hunh. Also, "the restaurant is located in a suburban area, so traffic is manageable and parking ample," and you get "loads of wet wipes" with every order. Come to think of it, that does sound a little like home. --Robert Wilonsky
