Dude Food: P.D. Johnson's

P.D. Johnson's Dog Day Deli

3839 McKinney Ave.

214-720-2227

Dude Factor: 8, or "Jimmy Johnson," on a scale of 1 (Jack Johnson, the musician) to 10 (Jack Johnson, the boxer)

Ah, P.D. Johnson's Dog Day Deli. From the first day we ventured into the old McKinney Ave. location, we knew we'd found a dude-friendly haven in the barren wasteland of salad restaurants and "paninotecas" known as Uptown. Massive selection of sandwiches with names like the "Nooner" and the "Bone"--check. A "you can't beat P.D.'s meat!" joke on the menu--check. A dog that farts when you click the menu on their website--check plus.

Some time ago they packed up the pooch and moved to a joint further up McKinney in the West Village, but the décor remains the same, largely consisting of random joke e-mails, newspaper articles and postcards pinned to the wall.

As far as the menu goes, we generally like the 8-step "Build-Your-Own-Johnson" option--we're dudes, after all, and we like to build stuff--but there are plenty of scripted sandwiches that will also serve you well, from steaming options like the "Hot Harley" (with roast beef, provolone and Tabasco) to cold options like the "Vinnie J" ( featuring ham, bologna, salami and pepperoncinis).
 

Several members of the Dallas Observer editorial staff have their own standing order on file here because, unlike Subway, Which Wich? and Great American Hero, P.D. Johnson's delivers. They'll even bring you a damn hot dog. And while it's no Big D's Dog (R.I.P.), it's hard to complain about quality when you're lying shirtless on your couch, devouring a 7 inch, all beef wiener (what?) like a drunken David Hasselhoff.

However, you must physically visit P.D. Johnson's to bask in one of their more abundant resources: young West Village women in pajamas or workout attire. Maybe a P.D. Johnson's sandwich is the perfect post-workout meal, or maybe these comely young babes just don't want to get Spicy Johnson juice on their school clothes, but either way, you will almost always encounter a small pack of them when dining here, so be warned.