The 5 Best Places to Break Up with Someone in Dallas

You don’t even have to take our admittedly snarky, cynical word for it — data has shown we live in one of the worst states for dating in the nation.

It could be the changing cultural and political landscape. Or the lack of horniness around here. Or the guys holding fish in their online dating profile photos who lie about being “moderate.”

Whatever the reasons are, we wanted to know how daters could inevitably cut things off in a way that would benefit the rest of us with a little bit of public entertainment. So, we took to Instagram and Facebook to ask our readers for the best places in public to break up with someone. You’re welcome. Or we’re sorry.

Naturally, predictable answers about breaking up over text or just straight-up ghosting someone filled the comments, and suddenly, the Dallas dating scene’s dismal reputation made so much sense.

Sure, you could argue that breaking someone’s heart in public is behavior that would be reserved for the worst people you know. And maybe you would be right — Ken and Angela Paxton recently took to the most public court of opinion (social media) to continue their clown-off by making their “biblical grounds” divorce everyone else’s problem. But we still loved watching that one.

We aren’t the only ones who enjoy a front-row seat to a messy breakup. Jack Ruby’s Saloon chimed in on our post to make it known that their bartenders would love to watch love come undone in The West End. Miriam Cocina Latina at Klyde Warren Park apparently already takes notice of its patio’s propensity for attracting breakups.

The suggestions weren’t reserved to bars and restaurants, though. A true love terrorist in the comments suggested the North Shore Trail in Flower Mound, and respectfully, if someone takes you all the way up there to end things, we aren’t sure they ever actually liked you, let alone loved you.

There were some truly insightful suggestions, though. And to be honest, if you break up with someone at one of these spots listed below, your ex might be able to call you an asshole, but they can’t say you don’t have good taste.

Ladylove Lounge and Sound

When we think of this atmospheric favorite in Oak Cliff, we don’t exactly imagine it to be a scene where romance goes to die, especially considering “love” is literally in the name. But, the bar itself hit the comments with a compelling argument: If you’re the one being broken up with, you can make the best out of its long bathroom lines by making friends while you wait — a perfect distraction to forget that you were looking for a place to cry. What’s more, someone else in the comments mentioned that the Ladylove bathroom line is where they accidentally became someone’s side piece. So, maybe as quickly as love is lost, it can be found again here. Or at the very least, a rebound.

The State Fair of Texas

This seems counterintuitive, given that a fair is typically thought of as a cute, old-fashioned date idea, but that’s actually why it works for breakups. If you’re optimistic (or just straight-up delusional) that you will remain friends after going your separate ways, this is the move. Tickets alone cost $15-$25 each, and then there are the prices of coupons, parking and your dignity. It’s easier to forgive someone for breaking your heart after they spent a couple of gas tanks' worth of money so you can throat a corny dog and pet a couple of zooted llamas, right?

You would only have a brief, three-week window to make this one happen, but if you’re insane enough to break up with someone in public to begin with, strategically planning this months in advance is probably light work for you anyway.

White Rock Lake

It’s quiet (you can cry in peace), it’s huge (no one can see you cry from across the lake), and it’s picturesque at sunset (you’ll have a gorgeous, almost cinematic view to cry in front of). As one commenter noted, you can quite literally “walk it off” afterward, too. Prepare yourself to be reminded that even birds are better at love than you are, though. The lake’s resident bald eagle couple, Nick and Nora, have been busy building their flock lately — the White Rock conservation team put it more eloquently than we could by describing it as “increased breeding activity.”

Taqueria El Si Hay

Comfort food is a necessity in the aftermath of a breakup, so this Dallas taco staple is an obvious choice. Although, squeezing in a little heartbreak might sour a long-running institution for you, so choose wisely with this one. For what it’s worth, though, tacos this good (we waited in the rain for them a while back) could probably induce a food coma to help make the breakup the next day’s problem. As our readers noted, though, there's usually a line, and it's all outdoors, so you'll have to wait until they call your order to break the news, or risk standing in awkward silence while your now-former significant other silently weeps. 

Dallas Police Department headquarters

Um, as far as we know, breaking up with someone isn’t a criminal offense. Still, this seemed to be a popular answer among commenters. Depending on the reason for the breakup and the reactions of parties involved, causing a public disturbance right outside of the DPD’s home base might be the only way to guarantee a reasonable 911 call response time, we guess. Believe us when we say, though, there are plenty of cooler places in the Cedars to say you dumped someone at. Literally anywhere else, actually.