The Hotels Charlie Kirk (and Other Conservatives) Should Avoid

Conservative activist Charlie Kirk suffers from many things, and one of them is iridophobia, a fear of rainbows. As we reported on Monday, Kirk came to Grapevine to promote misogyny and time travel to 1800s-style sexism via his organization The Turning Point at a summit that took place last weekend at the Gaylord Texan Resort.

The aptly named Turning Point (there is, sadly, no return) is a nonprofit with a mission to interfere with other people’s pursuit of happiness. Its website says front and center, “We believe in freedom,” but the org works tirelessly to destroy any societal progress with which Kirk and his ilk disagree. One tab on the website marked “woke” consists of news bits meant to rile up conservatives.

The conservative butt-plug, sorry, mouthpiece told one woman in attendance at the summit that she should consider having babies instead of pursuing a career as a surgeon. Because that’s what the world needs: fewer medical experts, more babies raised by people who’d let Charlie Kirk dictate the course of their lives.

Kirk told the crowd that he was offended by a rainbow flag hanging in the Grapevine hotel to commemorate Pride month. As he told his worshippers, he tried to take it down himself — please, Gaylord Texan, tell us you have that footage.

Who knows what kind of butch accommodations Kirk was expecting at the GAYLORD Texan hotel, home to a yearly display of ice sculptures and giant Christmas choo-choo trains, but here are some extra-prideful places he might want to avoid in the future.

The Waldorf Astoria

The Waldorf Astoria in New York is credited with inventing the red velvet cake, eggs Benedict and the Waldorf salad. No surprise, the Las Vegas location of the hotel chain hosted a Pride-themed tea party.

The Plaza Hotel

This luxury hotel is the home of Eloise at the Plaza, a children's book character created by “Think Pink” singer Kay Thompson and gay illustrator Hilary Knight. Kirk shouldn’t stay here even on Peter McCallister’s dime. Filthy animals.

Any Hilton

Paris Hilton and her late dog Tinkerbell are indisputable gay icons.

Any Marriott or Sheraton

The hotel empire that includes both brands had some sweet deals to celebrate Pride, which they called the "Pride and Joy" package. Shaking our LGBTQ+-supporting heads over here.

La Residence in South Africa

This hotel has an Elton John suite. Our gaydar is picking up on something, so be alert, Charlie Kirk.

Motel 6

Gay sleaze at its finest.

The Holiday Inn

Holidays are super gay.

Any Hotel in Memphis

Every hotel in Memphis has some sort of Elvis the Pelvis decor. If you look at his crotch twice you turn gay.

The Beverly Hills Hotel

The “pink palace” with its signature banana leaf wallpaper is practically a Barbie Dreamhouse. This is where Kens play together.

The Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles

This place breeds debauchery, and you just know the women who hang out in this Los Angeles landmark go to school for medical degrees, ugh.

The Beverly Wilshire

This is where Pretty Woman was shot. She was a career woman with no babies.

The Adolphus

The Dallas staple once hosted the queen of England. A literal queen, yo.

Best Western

Western culture is super gay with its assless chaps and John Wayne overcorrecting.

The Menger Hotel in San Antonio

Oscar Wilde stayed here.

The Lorenzo Hotel

The Dallas hotel has a Tina Turner room and it's filled with rainbow colors, so no.

The Statler

This place inspired Tina Turner to leave Ike and go on to be an icon to the likes of Dan Levy. We can’t stress enough how gay it is.

Any hotel in San Francisco

Charlie should boycott milk, too, because of Harvey.

The Warwick Melrose

This gorgeous old hotel is in the heart of the Dallas gayborhood.

The Rainbow Hotel in Belize

Immediately queer.

The Ritz Paris

It gave us the non-macho word “ritzy.”

El Cosmico in Marfa

This is the ultimate hipster lodging in the South. Outdoors showers and artists? Queer agenda filled.

The Robey Hotel Chicago

This art déco gem has a mid-century modern interior. It's the architectural equivalent of a Pride flag.

The Austin Motel

It was redesigned by queer architect Liz Lambert.

Anywhere Disney

Woke.

The Jewel Hotel in New York

It’s just down the street from the Rainbow Room. Also, jewels. Charlie Kirk is on to you.

The W Aspen

Also offered a Pride discount.

Sandos Playacar

This Mexican all-inclusive hosts gay weddings. Swim away, Charlie.

The White Lotus

Charlie Kirk would be the first person killed on the show, without a doubt.

The Hotel Where the Manager Licked a Guest's Toes

The Hilton Nashville pulled a White Lotus when a hotel manager came into a sleeping guest's room and licked his toes. Charlie Kirk would've given it only 4 stars.