Helen Wheels

A study from the National Center for Catastrophic Sports Injury Research classified cheerleading as the most dangerous sport for athletes. It claimed that forcing humans to defy the laws of gravity and physics caused injuries more serious than those sustained by football players. So where did roller derby fall into that study? You know, that sport in which athletes with names that sound like characters from a poorly written women’s prison movie literally throw each other into solid objects while wearing greased wheels on their feet? The best of the world’s bruisers will make their way to the Kay Bailey Hutchison Convention Center (650 S. Griffin St.) for a four-day tournament as part of the Blood and Thunder Roller Derby World Cup. General admission tickets for all four days are $135 for adults and $62.50 for children ages 4-10. Sunday passes are also available for $40. More information at rollerderbyworldcup.com.
Thu., Dec. 4, 9 a.m.; Fri., Dec. 5, 8:30 a.m.; Sat., Dec. 6, 8:30 a.m.; Sun., Dec. 7, 8:30 a.m., 2014
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Danny Gallagher has been a regular contributor to the Dallas Observer since 2014. He has also written features, essays and stories for MTV, the Chicago Tribune, Maxim, Cracked, Mental_Floss, The Week, CNET and The Onion AV Club.

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