Commentary

The Ten Most Ridiculous Metal Album Covers of 2013

Do the people who conceived and designed these metal album covers just not give a fuck, or do they give too many fucks? The answer is not entirely clear, but that's what makes them so awesome. Behold, the ten most ridiculous metal album covers of the year.

By Jason Roche

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Zodiac - A Hiding Place - see #10
10. Zodiac A Hiding Place

The next time you feel like doing the "siren surrounded by dogs" gimmick, try to find dogs that actually look threatening. Rather than cuddly. I think the one on her left there actually belongs to my aunt. He loooves having his belly rubbed; aw, he's a good boy, yes he does.

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9. Blackout We Are Here

The use of Satanic imagery and the middle finger to represent anything remotely cool or threatening is dead and buried, the bloated corpses of each represented by whatever the fuck this is. Also, that thing's forehead looks just like a butt. I wonder if it poops into its own eye or something. That'd be kinda metal, I guess.

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8. Profanatica Thy Kingdom Cum

This attempt to be shocking is somehow just totally whatevs. Satanic imagery clip art. OH MAN and I just got the album title pun! Well, I guess that is actually pretty clev-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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