5 Announcements We Hope Dwaine Caraway Makes Today

In case you missed it — something that's entirely possible given the average Dallas resident's level of municipal engagement — Dwaine Caraway is no longer on the City Council. It's a shame, too. Caraway, whether he was railing against plastic bags, imitating his eminently imitable colleague Vonciel Jones Hill or telling D Magazine that “[t]hey used to call me the Black Italian,” because “[he] could fix the hell out of a pizza,” the gregarious District 4 rep has always been fun and always seemed to have his constituents' best interests at heart.

At 11:30 a.m. Tuesday, a day after the city's new council was seated, Caraway plans to make a "big announcement" at Edison's in the Cedars. The smart money says he's going to say he'll run for John Wiley Price's county commissioner's seat, but that's not very fun. Here's are other announcements we'd enjoy more.:

He's Opening a Rudy's
Caraway is the biggest public booster for South Dallas' iconic Rudy's Chicken. It was his last meal before he went on what's been a very successful diet, and just last week he was talking about how he wished he could get a skybridge built between Rudy's and the Fiesta grocery store across the street — tweaking North Dallas residents gathered in the council chambers to complain about a potential skybridge at Preston Center. The restaurant's fine fried chicken is only available at its single Lancaster Road location at the moment; we'd love it if Caraway was Rudy's first franchisee. A pizza restaurant, obviously, would work, too.

He's Starting a Belts and Suspenders Charity
Among many, many other things, Caraway hates sagging pants. Makes sense that he might want to help those less fortunate avoid them.

He's Actually Writing the Book That He Threatened Mayor Mike Rawlings With
As Caraway became more and more incensed during the recent debate over banning single-use plastic bags in the city, he threatened to write a tell-all book exposing all he'd seen and heard during his eight years at city hall. We should be so lucky.

He's Hosting A Variety Show
He could do the whole thing as former council member Vonciel Jones Hill — Caraway does a mean imitation of her. (Watch from about the 41 minute mark.)

He's Embarking on an Art Career
Have you seen his plastic bag installation?

Update: 9:00 a.m.: According to a press release from the Caraway camp, the former interim mayor does indeed plan to run for Price's county commissioner seat.

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