Texas DPS Is Concerned About the Gays Glitter-Bombing People of "Conservative Orientation"

The first rule about glitter bombs, if you work in the Texas Department of Public Safety, is you do not talk about glitter bombs. "DPS does not discuss security-related matters or investigations," the agency vaguely told us in an email statement. (Subject line:"Inquiry about Glitter Bombs.")

But there appears to have been a minor, glitter-sized leak in the department. On Friday, The Texas Tribune said it obtained an email that a Department of Public Safety official sent to state senators. The email contained an unsigned attachment warning of a glitter-bombing threat among our society's most dangerous groups: the gays and women. "Glitter Bombing: Weapon of Choice for Gay Rights, Pro Choice Advocates," the Tribune said the unsigned attachment was titled.

As all good government reports do, the email attachment relies entirely on anecdotal evidence, documenting cases previously reported by the news media. It cites the well-known glitter bombings of Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney and other conservatives to make the case that "the common denominator among these political figures is a conservative orientation and opposition to gay rights, especially marriage equality." Of course, one may argue that conservatively oriented people are asking to be glitter-bombed, as conservative orientation is not something that you're born with but a lifestyle choice.

The most surprising takeaway of the glitter-bomb document is its description of glitter-related health effects. "Glitter bombing, which releases a 'blizzard of glitter'... may pose a health hazard to the recipient in the form of glitter particles entering the eyes, nose, lungs or other soft tissue, which may result in irritation or infection," it states. Not mentioned is the risk that glitter may get lodged into your carpet so deep that not even a vacuum will get it out.

Glitter Bombs

Send your story tips to the author, Amy Silverstein.

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