Dan Patrick’s Coronavirus Solution? Kill Granny.

Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick
Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick Mike Brooks
Coronavirus isn't the real threat to the American economy. At least, not according to Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick. The real threat to the American economy is Granny. Your granny, our grannies, everybody's granny. If they'd just stop being so sensitive, we could all go back outside, according to the lieutenant governor.

Last night, Patrick went on Tucker Carlson's Fox News show and called for America's seniors to stop being selfish and lay down their lives so young Americans could exercise their God-given rights to go on shitty cruises and scream at each other in too-crowded bars and a restaurants.

"No one reached out to me and said, 'As a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival, in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves for your children and grandchildren?'" Patrick said. "And if that's the exchange, I'm all in."

There are lots of grandparents who are ready to die for the economy and Dear Leader, Patrick said.

"I just think there are lots of grandparents out there in this country like me," he said.
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Stephen Young has written about Dallas news for the Observer since 2014. He's a Dallas native and a graduate of the University of North Texas.
Contact: Stephen Young