Weight: 156.9 (-14.2)
Hungry Hunched Over Happy!
Tonight, we dine!
Well, sorta. I'll probably have some soup. Maybe an ease-out-of-it cracker or two. Nothing too crazy. After all, it's been 10 days since my last food: A jalapeno cheeseburger on white bread and a handful of red grapes at 6 p.m. on Jan. 4.
As I unfurl the "Mission: Accomplished" banner, there's certainly a sense of satisfaction. Of achievement. I didn't really physically need to lose 14 pounds, it was more the mental challenge of will-powering myself to not eat for 10 days.
I'm surprised my energy level remained more than adequate. Surprised my "status" never wavered from green. (I had the "flashing yellow" and "emergency red" on stand-by.) Surprised at how well I slept, and how mellow my mood became.
I was also shocked at what came out of my body.
Despite not having a meal - not a single bite or even one crumb - since Jan. 4, my bowel movements were consistent. Over the last couple days the remnants have dwindled to shards and chunks of what looks like old wood chips. I'm assuming it's the gunk that's been compacted along my intestinal wall for weeks, months, years?
In the end, I have nothing to poop. Nothing to prove. I now know I can officially go longer without food than sports.
My final box score:
140 table spoons of syrup.
7 teaspoons of Cayenne pepper.
10 cups of herbal laxative tea.
288 ounces of salt water.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to the Observer's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Dallas's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
Like skydiving, The Master Cleanse was a mental and physical challenge that allowed me a temporarily different perspective on the world without permanently changing my life.
I'm glad I did. I highly recommend it. But I doubt I'll do it again.