The Master Cleanser

The Master Cleanser: Day 7

Status: Green

Weight: 158.0 (-13.1)

Mood: Pissed Pensive Peaceful

Wanna hear something gross? Well, that is half the reason you're here, right?

Okay, The Master Cleanser's diabolical discharge doesn't only come from the bottom floor.

For the first week I've been blow-blow-blow-blowing my nose. So much so that I finally decided to forgo using a million Kleenexes and just carry around one of our big, generic white towels (stolen, er, "borrowed" from Lifetime Fitness) usually reserved for car washing, dog accidents, etc.

So yesterday the towel makes it through the washer, dryer and, lo and behold, whatever came out of my nose stained it. Permanently. You'd think I sniffed mustard-colored paint all my life and was just now getting around to clearing my pipes.

In other news, the weekends ain't easy.

It's when you normally, ya know, socialize. And that invariably revolves around eating and drinking. But instead of breaking every New Year's resolution - getting stuffed, getting looped, and doing a body shot of Patron off my wife's lower back - I spent this weekend at the gym, at the kitchen counter and in the bathroom.

Borr. Ring.

Day 1  Day 2  Day 3  Day 4  Day 5  Day 6

KEEP THE DALLAS OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Richie Whitt
Contact: Richie Whitt