The Top 10 Reasons Austin is Better Than Dallas

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10. The whole city is one big Deep Ellum.

9. Two words: Cable. Access. The people willing to pay for their 15 minutes are incredibly entertaining, if not so much talented. On Saturday morning I was momentarily mesmerized by two pasty dudes sitting really close together on a love seat wearing headphones, holding microphones and talking ... atheism. I didn't care if they were agnostic or the sons of Robert Tilton, they were just so bad they were, well, good.

8. St. Edward's University. While the Cowboys bounce around from San Antonio to Wichita Falls to Oxnard, Calif., I'll always have a special, seared place in my heart for those 103-degree camps spent covering Jimmy Johnson's two-a-days on Woodward Street. Drove by the place yesterday and - gasp! - the fields that spawned three Super Bowl champions have been turned into a parking garage.

7. I know the women are classically prettier and plastically(?) hotter in Dallas, but there's something very grrrrrr about Austin chicks. Most have tattoos. Some wear hats. Or Army boots. And none of them give a damn what you or any of the fashion snobs at NorthPark think. Character + Confidence = Sexy.

6. Barton Springs. The water is always 68 degrees and sparkling clear. The women are sometimes topless. Your move, White Rock Lake. And don't get me started on Town Lake vs. the Trinity River Project.

5. Traffic. Before you start, look, I know Austin proper traffic sucks. But there's an alternative. If you haven't driven through lately, there's a short-cut around the shit. Along about Georgetown there's an SH45 Toll Road that will spit you back onto I-35 about Buda. Miss some scenery. Save some time. You're welcome.

4. Pulled up to a red light and in front of my car bounded three physically healthy kids under 12. One was wearing jeans and a purple tutu. The other two pushed and/or carried those wheeled walkers usually reserved for the elderly. In other words, Keep Austin Weird. To get a show like that in Dallas you'd better attend an Observer staff meeting. 

3. Bats. 1.5 million fly out from under the South Congress bridge each summer night to eat insects and such. You gotta see it to believe it.

2. Guero's Taco Bar. Two margaritas later and you're fresh out of $15 and coherence.

1. Football. Not only are the Longhorns annually better than the Cowboys, Texas quarterback Colt McCoy may end up a better NFL player than Tony Romo. He's already pulling Pro Bowl-caliber girlfriends.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.


Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.