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What Happens in Vegas ...

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Stays in Comes all the way back to Dallas.

I didn't wake up with a tooth missing or a tiger in my hotel bathroom. But only one - that's right, one - of the following did not happen during my 4-day excursion to Las Vegas.

Venture a guess?

*Meandering down The Strip Saturday morning I came upon two homeless men who, for some reason, were dressed as Batman and Robin. Read their cardboard sign: "Why Lie? We Need $$$ For Beer."

*I danced - voluntarily and almost sober, I might add - to this catchy diddy.

*Bette Middler put on an entertaining show.

*For my money the hottest dealers in town reside in Planet Hollywood's "Pleasure Pit." It's all low-cut lingerie, overflowing breasts and ooncha ooncha electronica music. My blackjack dealer was named Iris. Sorta. Actually, she'd somehow lost an "i" on her choker ID necklace. Her hips and lips were distracting enough, not to mention the fact that I was attempting to gamble money off of someone seemingly representing the IRS.

*I won a healthy NFL parlay on the Patriots and Chargers. And rewarded myself with a trip to In-N-Out Burger.

*At the Flamingo Hotel pool Friday afternoon there was a blonde woman in a white bikini and a pierced belly button. Almost forgot to mention, she weighed at least 250 pounds.

*Saw a very intoxicated man split 10s. And win.

*At one sports book I found the Cowboys as only a 6-to-1 longshot to make it to the Super Bowl. That was before Monday night's win.

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