Cheap Bastard

Piggie Pies: A Good Reason to Escape the Chain Gang.

I steered clear of Piggie Pies for the longest time because of its location and name. Something about a place called Piggie Pies that's in the same shopping center as a Condoms To Go made me question what it was that Piggie Pies might be serving up for lunch. And who spells "piggy" that way? Someone cutesy, that's who. Am I the "piggie"? Are these pies for people who want to pig out on pizza? Or do they exclusively sell pizza made of baby pigs? In my case, overthinking always equals desperate hunger, so I bit the bullet and walked in the door at Piggie Pies.

Shockingly, it turns out it's just a regular pizza restaurant, and you should absolutely check this place out if you can get past the cutesy Piggie Pies name. (A name that you can't even make better by shortening it. I tried. When I said I was ordering pizza from PP's, people thought I was getting a slice from some baby's dong.)

The joint has a lunch special of a personal pizza and a drink for about eight bucks. Win. Piggie Pies has lots of fresh toppings to choose from on the menu (all your standards plus a couple of extra intriguing choices including feta, goat cheese and sun-dried tomatoes). I kept it simple and went with the sausage, because you clearly have to order a pig pie at a place called Piggie Pies. (Ya know, just like you'd have to order a blow J at a place called Stan's Blow J's). The pizza here wasn't anything fancy, but it was really delicious. I liked the giant chunks of spicy sausage on the super cheesy pizza. Simple, standard, tasty crust. Similar to a Domino's pizza—only you're not at fucking Domino's! You're supporting a local business! Yay!!

Enter Soapbox.

Me: Hey, Soapbox! What up!

Soapbox: I just have to say that a lot of great restaurants are closing in this town simply because some of you a-hats choose chains over supporting local spots. To you chain whores, I say, "Stop sucking!" I implore you to try something different—and very likely more delicious—than Domino's or, God for-fucking-bid, Pizza Hut.

Me: You done?

Soapbox: Sho nuf.

Exit Soapbox.

Get off your lazy, stuck-in-a-rut lunch butt and order yourself some yummy pizza from Piggie Pies. You will not be disappointed.

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Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade