Each week in 'Knockers' we order from a different delivery restaurant, assessing their efficiency and keeping a running score.
Wang's Chinese Café
6033 Luther Lane
214-265-1688
Promised delivery time: 45 minutes
Actual delivery time: 60 minutes
Scoring Summary:
Having all my info on file for an easy phone transaction: 15
Providing entertainment ( in other words, providing endless "wang" jokes for my roommate and me to come up with while we waited): 40
Having my stomach ask me where the food was in an angry Mr. T voice: -15
Jumbo wontons: 10
Finally getting a fortune cookie: 20
Total: 70
(Wang's fails to dent the coveted Top Ten.)
Top Ten
See complete 2009 standings here
Around 3:30 p.m. on a busy Wednesday afternoon, after having a meltdown at my desk [editor's note: caused, most assuredly, by Wilonsky and not by any City of Ate demands], I realized there was no way I was cooking dinner tonight.
My impatience with [name deleted, but let's assume it was Wilonsky] gave me the perfect opportunity to practice one of my secret shame rituals...ordering enough Chinese food to feed the Swiss Guard (times are tough, I can't afford to feed the Russian Army--and I don't even know if they like Chinese food). The second I got home I started digging through our junk/delivery menu drawer until I found the winner. Congratulations Wang's Chinese Café.
Yes, the name of the restaurant is actually Wang's. And, yes, I hoped some Wang's would make me a happy girl.
I called up Wang's to place my large order expecting to spend five
minutes on the phone going over everything from my place of residency
to do I want steamed or fried rice with that? The man on the phone
picked up and said "Wang's" with a stern voice (just hearing that word
throbbing over the line had my heart beating and mouth watering). The
ordering process was surprisingly easy: all they do is ask for your
phone number and, if you're a repeat customer like myself, they access
the vitals. It makes for a simple over the phone transaction.
The 45 minutes they promised over the phone slowly, very slowly turned
into 60 minutes. I know, 15 minutes isn't that long, but when you have
your stomach actually talking to you in a certain A-Team cast member's
voice, then you know it's ready to chow down. "I pity the fool who
delivers my food."
My delivery man finally showed up, and it was another disappointment.
The usual guy is a Mr. Miyagi look-alike, who always makes my day with
his energetic personality and smiling face. This dude just handed me
the bag while giving me the "OK, now it's your turn to give me the tip"
look.
I tore into my brown bag and started my ritual. While throwing
everything onto my dining table, I noticed that the complimentary bag
of wontons wasn't an ordinary one. They were jumbo wontons, the biggest
I've ever seen before--as round as a Coke bottle and...um, leave it to
Wang's to go by the concept "bigger is better."
So I decided to save those for later and started off with the crab
puffs that looked like paper footballs and tasted more like cardboard
footballs. I quickly moved over to my General Tsao's Chicken. The
chicken actually felt like I was trying to chew a rubber ducky, which
is not an easy task by the way. By that point I was frustrated, and
decided to just eat the fried rice, which was alright with a little soy
sauce and pepper on it.
Lucky for them, I'm an easy girl to please--as long as certain
requirements are met. They redeemed themselves by giving a fortune
cookie. Now I know that "business matters require attention....in bed."
I really don't know what I should think about that, but I did get a
good laugh out of it.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, everyone has their off
nights and I'm not quite ready to give up on my Wang's. Plus, I need
someone to practice my wax on, wax off with.
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