Ho, Ho Yourself, Tubby

Psst. Hey, kid. Yeah, you, the one sneaking a peek at that naughty Observer. So, the parents want to get a picture of you with the Jolly Ol' Elf at NorthPark Center, eh? Well, listen, peewee: Skip the wish list. We never got a pony, a shotgun or a lid, and we were always...cough...good. (They never pinned anything on us.) Instead, kid, have some fun and hit the old boy up with a few questions. Like: "So, all this 'elf' labor--you got green cards for them boys?" "You and Mrs. Claus are childless, and you hang around with twinkish little men in tights--how many beards you got?" "Ever hear of OSHA, big fella?" and "What does PETA have to say about reindeer sleighs?" Make the fat man sweat, kid, and next time, maybe he'll come through with the pony. Parents can get their kids' picture with Santa, using their own camera or buying a professional portrait, on the mall's level one outside Macy's. Hours are 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Saturday, minus 30-minute breaks at 2 p.m. and 5 p.m.; 12:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. and 4 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. Sunday; and 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Christmas Eve. Tickets are available starting at 9 a.m. Monday through Saturday and at 10 a.m. Sunday.
Mondays-Saturdays, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., 2:30-5 & 5:30-7 p.m.; Sundays, 12:30-3:30 & 4-5:30 p.m.; Fri., Dec. 24, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Starts: Nov. 16. Continues through Dec. 24, 2010
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Patrick Williams is editor-in-chief of the Dallas Observer.
Contact: Patrick Williams