For every celebrity squad we’re desperate to be a part of, though, there are others that no amount of designer clothes and photo filters can make desirable. If you’re on the cusp of becoming famous and wondering who to link up with, here’s our advice on which celebrity squads seem pretty cool versus those that seem like too much drama.
The Kardashian–Jenners
We’re starting off with a bang with the First Family Not One American Voted For, consisting of Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kris, Kendall, Kylie, Rob and a spattering of spouses and children. Can a family be a squad? Under normal circumstances, we’d say no, but the Kardashians have never been normal. Being contractually obligated to hang out all the time for self-promotion isn’t exactly “goals,” but we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention them. Knowing Kris Jenner, we'd probably be violating one of her many trademarks.Verdict: Let’s just say that if they offered to adopt us, we’d politely decline.
Shawn Mendes’ Smoothie Squad
Last year, Mendes was spotted grabbing a smoothie in Los Angeles with three of the most generic-looking California hipsters you’ll ever see. One of them was quite literally barefoot. We have no idea who these men are, but we are captivated by them. The more you analyze the photo, the more questions come up. Why do three of them have smoothies but the one to Mendes’ immediate right appears to be holding some sort of yerba mate-based drink? Is the barefoot one carrying a Bible?Verdict: We are absolutely dying to know more about these mystery men and are willing to join the squad to get some answers.
I cannot stop staring at Shawn Mendes’ smoothie squad pic.twitter.com/g8FLPWzevH
— 7/11 Truther (@DaveMcNamee3000) April 27, 2023
Boygenius
This indie folk-rock supergroup, consisting of Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers and Lucy Dacus, is more than just a band. They’re also an enviably tight-knit group of friends that fans would give anything to be a part of. From their cute, inside joke-laden banter onstage and in interviews to the fact that their music videos are directed by Kristen Stewart, they are “squad goals” for the generation who thinks the term “squad goals” is cringe.Verdict: Alexa, play “One of the Boys” by Katy Perry, because that’s what we want to be.
Liv Tyler and Her It-Girl Squad
Tyler's circle of friends is the envy of young Gen Xers and elder millennials everywhere. Her best friend since high school is that fellow nepo baby who we're all cool with, Kate Hudson. If that alone doesn't convince you, her throwback posts with Kate Moss will put your humble "#tbt" to shame. Add Alicia Silverstone and Sienna Miller to the mix, and you've got undeniably the coolest girl squads ever created.Verdict: If hanging out with some of the hottest women of their generation somehow won't make you feel bad about yourself, go for it.
The Obama-Springsteen-Spielberg Barcelona Boys Trip
Bruce Springsteen, Steven Spielberg and former president Barack Obama are all titans in their respective fields of music, film and politics. They're all also pals. Just last year, they traveled to Barcelona together where they hung out at one of Springsteen’s concerts, saw the sights of the city and enjoyed what President Obama called “one of his best meals” at the Amar at the Palace Hotel.Verdict: As much as we would’ve loved to be invited on this trip, we accept the fact that we’re wholly unqualified.
Donald Trump’s Legal Team
Sorry, Kardashians, but this is where the real drama is. Who doesn’t want to be part of this crack team of highly questionable attorneys who are constantly on the edge of being sanctioned? Nobody, it turns out. Not even the people who are a part of it. The lineup is constantly changing, and naming who's left puts us at risk of this story being expired before it even runs. Notable alumni include former New York mayor Rudy Giuiliani, Sidney Powell and the most recent burnout, Joseph Tapocino. Or as the embattled former president would call them, "haters and losers."Verdict: If there’s an objectively correct wrong answer on this list, it’s this one.
Adam Sandler and Co.
Adam Sandler has life all figured out. Every few years, he’ll pump out some half-baked comedy that is conveniently located in a beautiful vacation destination like Hawaii. He’ll cast a beautiful actress like Jennifer Aniston or Drew Barrymore as his love interest. And, to top it all off, he’ll cast all of his friends, such as Rob Schneider, Kevin James and David Spade, and take them with him. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that operation?Verdict: If there’s an objectively correct best answer on this list, it’s this one.
Gwyneth Paltrow, Dakota Johnson, etc.
The short version of this squad’s story is that Gwyneth Paltrow, who is married to Glee co-creator Brad Falchuk, used to be married to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, who is now in a long-term relationship with actor and dubious fan of limes Dakota Johnson. Despite their histories, they all get along and hang out as friends. While it's ideal for exes to have no ill will toward each other, it's also creepy when they get along this well. Then again, most of us have only gone through breakups and divorces, not "conscious uncoupling." Gwyneth is also BFFs with Kate Hudson, Reese Witherspoon and her other famous ex's ex, Jennifer Aniston.Verdict: Three words: nightmare blunt rotation.
The Cast of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
By all accounts, the making of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was one of the best and most tight-knit work environments of all time. Director Edgar Wright and the cast, which included Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kiernan Culkin and Brie Larson, have stayed close since the film was released in 2010. Remarkably, the now-all-star cast came together to voice the anime adaptation for Netflix last year.Verdict: What can we say? It’s always nice to get along with your coworkers.
Everyone at John Mulaney’s Intervention
In his last standup special, Baby J, Mulaney recounts an addiction intervention his friends held for him before he went to rehab. For a somber event, it was quite star-studded. Nick Kroll, Fred Armisen, Bill Hader and Natasha Lyonne were all in attendance. Not to diminish the gravity of the situation (though Mulaney himself joked about it at length in the special), but that's quite an interesting and hilarious group of people to have care about you.Verdict: On better days than the one described in the special, these friends probably have a lot of fun together.
Taylor Swift’s Girl Squad
This is the one you think of when you hear the phrase “celebrity squad.” If Swift had asked us to join her squad in 2015, we would’ve said yes in a heartbeat. It would’ve been flattering, for one, considering she mostly hangs out with talented, beautiful celebrities like Blake Lively, Gigi Hadid and Hayley Williams, among several others. It also would’ve gotten us access to enviable events like her legendary Fourth of July parties. These days, however, Taylor Swift is the center of the universe and even her most famous friends are perceived by Swifties as side characters whose sole purpose is to dispense more hints about the next album release. (No, Selena Gomez wearing snake print isn't a Reputation (Taylor's Version) Easter egg.)Verdict: We’re content with living in Taylor Swift’s world, but orbiting around it full-time sounds exhausting.
