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Amazon Says That Frisco Is For Lovers ... Of Crappy Books and Movies

The people of Frisco buy so many romantic comedies, romance novels, relationship-help books and Barry White albums on Amazon.com that the website has ranked it the 20th "most romantic" city in the United States.

Amazon's methodology was to ask a bunch of 12-year-olds (or James O'Keefe) what constitutes "romantic" and rate accordingly. Joining Frisco on the illustrious list are noted hotbeds of sexy schlock Miami and Las Vegas, as well as that bastion of free-wheelin' free-love and Joseph Smith-sanctioned underpants, Salt Lake City.

I'm not saying it's a stretch to imagine that the people of Frisco have particularly bad taste in entertainment and reading material. I am saying it's a stretch to think that the extended director's cut of Good Luck Chuck and leather-bound copies of the Mars-Venus collection are giving the inhabitants of our northern exurb express tickets to Nekkietown. If anything, this kind of mainstream hetero-centric, gender-essentialist crap does far more harm than good when it comes to real-life relationships, which is why even supposedly good-natured jokes like this one from Amazon get me all panty-hackled.

Then again, some people like clown porn, and some people just want to lock eyes with their signed photo of Dr. Phil while they're gently banging away to "Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe." On the upside, having easy access to a 99-cent Ikea breakfast -- two scrambled eggs and bacon! -- might be worth risking an encounter with furry handcuffs.

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