Dallas Desire

Dallas Desire Media Day, Tryouts Part II, Whatever.

Check out more photos in our slideshow from the mini-camp.

It's rare I don't have time to check out the hotties, especially the athletic ones. But with the NFL Draft and Mavericks-Spurs this weekend, I dispatched the lovely and talented Kelly to do what she does oh so good: Lingerie Football.

Take it away ...

The Dallas Desire media day at QuikTrip Park was, well, an awful like the tryouts we covered in February. Sports bra-wearing hopefuls did their best to balance athleticism and overall hotness -- both essential to success in the Lingerie Football League.

And, I mean, are they milking this thing or what?

You think it would be easy to find 12 Dallas hotties who are willing to get rough. After all, the LFL's season is only four games long.

All 12 roster spots were spoken for after February's tryouts, but coaches at Friday's mini-camp say nothing is written in stone just yet. Looking at the Desire's super-official, uber-maintained, marketing-tool-of-a-Website, you'd never know.

Somewhere, somehow, Desire recruiters wrangled up a new busty batch of ladies to scout out.

"I don't even know what's going on," one enthralled onlooker said. "I'm in the twilight zone or something."

Hopefuls practiced catching passes and running routes, just like last time. They were knocked on their asses, just like last time. And every time someone completed a pass, caught a ball or got up off the ground, their peers applauded with the same enthusiasm they showed months ago.

Still, there was a clear distinction Friday between those who had made the team in February, and the intimidated newbies. The 12 vets wore matching white shorts and Dallas Desire tank tops. They sure looked the part, but whether their catch-to-drop ratio was any better than the new group's is up for debate.

"This is the greatest day of my life," one spectator said. Another added, "I love me some No. 2!"

LFL founder, chairman and Joe Francis starter kit Mitchell Mortaza was on hand to show he takes this whole thing pretty seriously. In his designer jeans and button-up dress shirt, he made an example out of the Desire's would-be/could-be quarterback, 29-year-old Linda Brenner. After being benched for the final drill, Brenner was left sitting on her gym bag as Akon's "Lonely" rang from the stadium's loudspeakers.

"They didn't call my number to participate in this drill, so I don't know," she said. "We'll see what happens." Turns out, the coaches running the drills wanted to make an example of her for future rule-breakers. See, it's not all fun and games.

Anyway, you can wipe the drool off your face and mark your calendars for September 25, the Desire's season opener and one of their two -- count 'em, two -- home games this year.

KEEP THE DALLAS OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Kelly Knickerbocker