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Amazon's Las Vegas fulfillment centerEXPAND
Amazon's Las Vegas fulfillment center
Jonathan Weiss/Shutterstock

Let's Take a Look at the Absurdity That Was Dallas' Amazon Offer

Dallas missed out on so much earlier this week when Amazon decided not to include the city in its HQ2 largess. Had the retail behemoth seen fit to shine its light on us, we could've had the thousands of jobs, billions in financial activity and voluminous orange signage that will now go to northern Virginia and Queens, New York.

Of course, the goodies would've come at a price, as you already know if you've read any of the thousands of words of coverage about our great municipal missing out.

Amazon would have received more that $450 million in tax incentives as part of the $600 million package Dallas offered the company, plus tons of nontraditional incentives intended, in the words of the city, to "make the move to Dallas easy and seamless."

If you haven't had a chance to check out the full proposal Dallas submitted to its would've-been corporate overlords, here are some of the more ridiculous items you might have missed:

Dallas would've kicked in $1.5 million just to ferry people around Amazon's campus, because it gets hot here in the summer.

Dallas summers can be hot, and we want to make it as comfortable as possible for employees to move throughout the HQ2 campus. We will work with you on longer term transit options once you select your HQ2 site, but as a short-term fix the City of Dallas will offer up to $1,500,000 toward shuttles, pedicabs, courtesy carts, or other quick transit solutions for HQ2 employees.

Free dogs!

The City of Dallas has waived all pet adoption fees at the Dallas Animal Services adoption center for Amazon employees, and will offer free microchipping services until 2022 to all Amazon pets, whether or not adopted from our shelter. (Estimated Value of $250,000)

Amazon execs would've been kept away from the riffraff as they hopped on and off their private jets.

In addition to DFW International Airport and Dallas Love Field, the city owns a third airport, Dallas Executive, located 15 minutes from downtown. The City of Dallas will offer up to $25 Million to construct a build-to-suit corporate hanger for Amazon at Dallas Executive Airport for hassle-free business travel. 

A proving ground for drones, slingshots, or whatever other technology Amazon wanted to test for package delivery.

The City owns Hensley Field, a secure air field formerly used by the U.S. Navy as a naval reserve aviation base. Hensley would be an ideal location to test or operate new delivery technologies or other research innovations as needed by Amazon.

Free reign over the Omni downtown.

After the site announcement is made, Amazon will have to make dozens of trips to the chosen city to meet with architects, construction contractors, city officials, and other local partners. To make this travel as painless as possible, Amazon will have 2000 free room nights at the City-owned Omni Hotel in downtown Dallas.

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