DHL Slow To Deliver

Somebody get me the number of Avi Adelman's sleep therapist. I honestly don't know how he gets any rest at all. The drunks pee too much. The cops tow too little. The noise is too loud ... oh, cripes, we can't cover all this ground at once. Better you just get familiar with Avi's own primer, a guide to the watchdog's ongoing crusade to free his Lower Greenville neighborhood of a whole host of problems that would drive anyone else steadily insane. But Avi's some kind of superhuman vigilante. His latest cause? Getting the Belmont Neighborhood Association into the Dallas Homeowner's League.

In a trio text messages to Unfair Park Sunday afternoon, Avi began making his complaints: "Dallas Homeowner's League won't let Belmont play in their yard." The DHL, a citywide association that voices concerns and recommendations to City Hall on manners of community importance, is made up of all kinds of neighborhood groups, crime watches, etc. Geographically, the groups aren't really supposed to overlap. And you may be familiar with the Lower Greenville Neighborhood Association, a group with a wider span than the Belmont-Ross-Greenville-Skillman borders of the BNA. The LGNA officially (or half-assedly, depending on who you ask) represents the area included in the BNA, and they're already members of the DHL.

Avi, one of the BNA's founding members and easily its most vocal, has long said the LGNA doesn't represent the BNA's real interests: loud bars, drunk folk, war and pestilence, etc. So they want to join the DHL independently. Four years ago, the BNA tried, but rescinded their application when they were told they didn't fulfill some of the requirements, like membership numbers. Now, they've got 100 folks on their roster, and tried to re-apply March 1. Twenty-nine days later, they haven't heard back on their app, despite letters, calls and e-mails. When one BNA-er showed up at the DHL meeting, they said they had received it but had a lot to catch up on and had been tied up with various other duties.

I guess you can imagine what Avi thinks the DHL's alibi (hint: it may rhyme with "bullshit"). The LGNA's got a member on the DHL Board of Directors that makes membership decisions, and some think the LGNA doesn't want to relinquish control of the BNA's area.

If BNA were to be accepted, Avi says the perks are manifold: better communication with other neighborhoods that might offer solutions to BNA's problems, an ability to voice opinions on long-term projects such as traffic and development. And, not nearly least of all, it'd force the LGNA to acknowledge the BNA's existence as a righteous entity. There's some kind of metaphor to be made here about the United Nations, the state of Israel, Palestine, Hamas and some other political stuff. Stout Bar as Gaza Strip, anyone? But it'd be a tacky, far-fetched reference, and Lord knows Unfair Park is all about class.

Calls and e-mails to DHL weren't returned, but we'll be sure to keep you posted -- and, of course, so will Avi -- when we hear anything. Oh, wait...this just in. The DHL just e-mailed Unfair Park with an official "No comment." --Andrea Grimes

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Robert Wilonsky
Contact: Robert Wilonsky

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