File This Under "30 Days of Who Gives an Eff," or: CW33 Finds Itself Challenged!

From the department of Who Could Possibly Give The Tiniest, Most Diminutive, Maximally Petite and Demure of Shits: A Granbury couple will have sex every day for the next 30 days and report back to CW33 about how it went. This "news" story features photos of the couple for your remote-visualization pleasure. Really. Friends, I challenge you to think of something tackier.

Per the CW33 site, which features Lauren and Shawn Scott, who are going to make their genitals touch every day for the next 30 days and then tell you all about it:

"We got offered the chance to do the 30 days and thought why not how fun!!! We are excited about the adventure and making it fun all the way around! It will be interesting how it turns out as far as keeping it out of just a routine and making it exciting and fun! We also understand how the rut of everyday life takes a toll on your sex life and this way we are committing to focus on bringing it back in!! Should be an interesting 30 days," says Lauren.

They "got offered"? Like, CW33 employees were toolin' around Granbury, hoping for some sweet antique deals, saw the Scotts, and were like, "Hey, what if those people would bone each other every day and then tell us all about it? And then we could put it ON THE DAMNED NEWS?" You know what I bet takes a toll on sex lives? The rut that you'd get into feeling obligated to rut every day for 30 days.

But in the interest of fairness, I think it's only right I counter their May-sweeps sex pledge with an offer of my own.

Friends of Unfair Park, I am happy to inform you that this non-committed, single Girl On Top is not going to have sex for the next thirty days and keep you periodically updated about how that's going. Hope you like reading about my cats.

Day 1: When I woke up this morning, I didn't know I wasn't supposed to have sex today, but so far, so good.

Tune in next time to find out what happens!

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