Perry the Pipe is not cheap date. Course, he is willing to give you a hand.

Sure Hope Perry the Pipe Is Made Out of Solid Gold

We sure did have a lot of fun with ol' Perry the Pipe earlier this summer, when Mayor Tom declared June 1-7 "Cease the Grease" Week in the city. The city's Grease Abatement Program (band name alert!) is aimed at conducting "public outreach to Dallas residents to decrease the amount of fats, oils and grease (FOG) in the sanitary sewer system," thus eliminating nasty sewage spillovers -- and having to call the plumber every few months, damn you, sweet bacon! And funded by Dallas Water Utilities, the endeavor even won itself a a Public Information & Education Award from the National Association of Clean Water Agencies in July; mazel tov, etc.

But if I read the city council's agenda for today correctly, the city's anti-grease and water-conservation campaigns don't come cheap: The council today will likely approve paying Cambridge, Massachusetts-based Camp Dresser & McKee, Inc. an amount "not to exceed $5,640,000 ... to continue the City’s public awareness campaign in promoting water conservation and grease abatement programs to reduce gallons per capita water consumption and sanitary sewer overflows, respectively." Waste not ... waste not? --Robert Wilonsky

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