Whitt's End: 4.24.09

Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Barring a trade, the Cowboys won't make their first pick (51st overall) in tomorrow's NFL Draft until around 9:30 p.m., a good six hours after the thing kicks off. But it's worth it to tune in early. Why? Best draft day in the history of Dallas, or any other city. Our fair burg may not only get the No. 1 overall pick (Highland Park quarterback Matthew Stafford) for the first time, but after producing just eight Top 10 picks in four decades tomorrow Dallas could have three with Stafford, W.T. White offensive lineman Jason Smith and Carter receiver Michael Crabtree. No city has ever produced three Top 10 picks in the same draft.

*Stafford, for what it's worth, is a 10-handicapper from Highland Park who has no guess on his most unique quality. Time and money come to mind.

*Couple problems with ESPN E:60's story on the coattails of my story about former Cowboy Dwayne Goodrich. First, why do all its cameras appear to be filming during a 6.4 earthquake? Shaky here. Quick-zooms there. It's all very unstable. On MTV's Cribs, that's artsy. On a serious, investigative magazine show, that's annoying. Secondly, in re-hashing E:60's version, The Ticket morning host George Dunham talked about ESPN getting "the first interview ever" with Goodrich. Love Jub-Jub, but apparently I should've given him a free subscription to the friendly Dallas Observer for Christmas.

*Speaking of local media, D Magazine's popular FrontBurner blog is going cold turkey on comments. Weird. Isn't that akin to a talk radio station deciding not to take calls? A business yanking its suggestion box? I, for one, am not so snobbish to the point of deleting audience participation and removing the "take" from out lil' "give and take." Besides, I misused "their" last week. Need all the editors I can muster. Your comments will always be welcome here. I'm a big boy, call me a douche bag all you want. Douche bag.

*ABC NBA play-by-play voice Mike Breen drives me crazy. Has there ever been a more lame signature sports catch phrase than his "Puts it in!" You don't "put" the basketball in the basket. If Breen were doing play-by-play of Sunday afternoon catch-up laundry, maybe "put" would be an appropriate active verb. But, no, "Puts it in!" reduces the art of scoring two points to some sort of menial chore. Besides, doesn't Breen join that silly Dancing With The Stars host as generic, graying guys who belong on a box of Just For Men?

*From the Department of Calling Out Bullshit on TV, I saw that Southwest Airlines "No Hidden Fees" commercial again this week. You know, the one where the guy gets this great price from the ticket agent, only for her to turn around and have a second face that demands exorbitant fees. In mocking American's bag fees, Southwest flashes "$69!" on the screen. But with an assist from my friend TiVo, I read the fine print that flashes for about 0.8 seconds: One-way with 21-day advance. Federal tax of $3.60 per takeoff and landing, airport taxes of up to $9, and federal Sept. 11 security fee of up to $5 one-way not included. Hidden fees indeed.

*The coach who rang up 100 on a Dallas girls high-school hoops team tries to defend his actions here. Not buying it.

*Minor League baseball along the banks of the Trinity? I can see it now, a four-team division -  Fort Worth Cats, Frisco RoughRiders, Dallas and Texas - in which the Rangers actually have a shot at winning.



*Most obvious - and deserving - award in a long time: Jason Terry as NBA Sixth Man of the Year. Considering Josh Howard's inconsistency, Terry saved the Mavs' season.

*First TCU approves, then rescinds segregated housing for gays. And now: Ridiculous censorship of a journalism student who dared to espouse a sorta edgy opinion. Shame, Horned Frog Nation. Wait, probably more like Horned Frog County. Horned Frog Smattering?

*I got married barefoot on a Jamaican beach to my blonde bombshell of a soul mate while Shaggy serenaded us, so I'm not complaining. But Andy Roddick's ceremony in Austin last weekend makes us realize why we get carried away idolizing professional athletes. Roddick married her, with him singing. That, my friends, is a Fantasy Wedding. Got me to thinking, mine would probably be to her, with him performing right about here. Yours?

*After a 76 at Cowboys Golf Club last month, I fired a fresh little 90-something at Tour 18 yesterday afternoon. Blaming it on what has to be the windiest spring in the history of ever. A 4-iron from 149, are you kidding me?

*Last week: Ian Kinsler 6-for-6. This week: Ian Kinsler 0-for-6.

*If you're Jonesing for football (See what I did there? June Jones? Football? Longing?) the SMU Red-Blue spring scrimmage is Saturday at 1 p.m. at Ford Stadium. Rare chance for me to guarantee a Mustangs' victory.

*In these economic times, we're all looking for dollar deals. Found one. Tomorrow is Lone Star Park's inaugural Dollar Day, featuring $1 admission, program, hot dogs, popcorn, drinks and beer. That's right, beer. Suggestion: $2 on the exacta box. Go on, splurge.

*Saturday I'll be at Mavs-Spurs Game 4 in the afternoon, then at night off to another round of wildly intelligent barely listenable hockey analysis as the Texas Brahmas host Game 7 of their conference finals series on Time Warner Cable's Metro Sports Channel 185. Sunday morning I'll be in my regular seat, 8 a.m.-Noon on 105.3 The Fan. Consider yourself warned.

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