Whitt's End: 9.23.11

*Michael Young = Rangers' MVP. Well, isn't he?

*It's not a three-alarm fire as so far this season Dez Bryant hasn't made any negative headlines. (I hear there was a verbal skirmish with his live-in girlfriend after a pre-season game and I keep getting reports that he frequents night clubs until closing time, but no biggies.) But I hear he's now estranged from long-time mentor and father figure David Wells. Last year Bryant, who grew up without a close relationship to his biological father, lived with Wells in Desoto. Recently, however, he moved to Dallas into the house previously owned by the mother of former Skyline High School and NBA star Larry Johnson. These days Bryant and Wells rarely speak.

*It's not real politically correct, but it's accurate. I've got my White Truck Wednesday theory, now supplemented by FFF. Next time someone's driving erratically -- other than dangerously excessive speeding -- my research indicates it will be one of the following: Female (Not a man). Foreign (Not an American). Fossil (Not young). Look it up.

*Went to the coming-out party for new NHRA driver Alexis Dejoria at a joint called The Apartment on Oak Lawn the other night. Spiffy gig. Her father, Tequila Patron and Paul Mitchell hair founder John Paul Dejoria, throws quite the bash. Lots of tequila, tons of cleavage, and even I bumped into Most Eligible: Dallas reality star Matt Nordgren.

*I'm hearing Garrett Gilbert is done at the University of Texas. Not just this year in football because of the shoulder injury, but with the school altogether because of overall frustration. He'll apply for a medical redshirt and skeedaddle.

*If the Redskins' DeAngelo Hall threatens to put a helmet into Romo's ribs and he does it in a legal manner within the confines of the game, no problem with that. Speaking of Romo's injury, ESPN keeps playing the 2nd-quarter sack of Romo by Carlos Rogers from last week. That wasn't, of course, the play that cracked his rib. It was the third play of the game, courtesy of Ahmad Brooks. Fans who are convinced the Rogers sack injured Romo are the ones screaming about him being a pansy. But they're wrong. On both accounts.

*I've been screaming for the discontinuation of extravagant last meals provided for death-row inmates for years, and finally someone's listened. After that bastard white supremacist Lawrence Brewer ordered two chicken-fried steaks, a triple bacon cheeseburger, fried okra, cheese omelette, a pound of barbecue, fajitas, pizza, ice cream and peanut-butter fudge with crushed peanuts -- and didn't eat one bite -- Texas will now serve to the dead men walking whatever's on the menu that day. Hallelujah! While I would have liked to have seen Brewer fed a piece of white bread and a glass of water before being dragged to his death behind a pickup, I would also like to spread his desired last meal around to the homeless under a Dallas bridge.

*Good news, Cowboys' fans: The Redskins may be 2-0, but they allow 4.8 yards per rush. How pathetic is Dallas' running game so far? They are 31st in the NFL at only 54 yards per game and are the only team without a run of 12-plus yards. In 48 rushes, the Cowboys' long is 8 yards. Weak sauce. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Romo is so dang important.

*Bummed out I missed Joel Zimmerman last week at The Palladium. And sorry I missed his Deadmau5 fans.

*How the West was won: This year the Rangers went 13-6 against the A's. Entering this weekend the Angels are only 7-9 against the A's.

*TCU to the Big 12 is done deal ... if UT AD DeLoss Dodds gives his blessing. Horned Frogs will, ahem, leap at chance to spurn the Big East in order to stay home.

*This weekend? Saturday is a double-header doozy, first at Texas Motorplex in Ennis for the NHRA Fall Nationals and the nightcap at Baby Dolls Dallas for UFC 135. Sunday we Sabbath, with a heavy helping of NFL. Don't be a stranger.

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