Complaint Desk

Cucumber Gatorade: A Warning

We offer many different perspectives here at the City of Ate, and on occasion we even dabble in being good Samaritans. This is one of those times.

If you order Gatorade by color, you must stop. Immediately.

"Hey, I'm at the store need anything?"

"Yeah, can you pick me up a Gatorade?"

"What kind?"

"I dunno. Lemon-lime or whatever. Something green or yellow."

See, that's too vague now. Because then you may end up with green Lime Cucumber Gatorade. And it's horrible! Because it actually tastes and smells like cucumber. Now, I'm a friend of the cucumber when it's in a salad or simply sprinkled with a bit of salt. But, it has no place in proper hydration. At all. Ever.

Please, Gatorade, make it stop.

If you don't trust me, here's a review from Bevreview, from Raybo15:

"In all honesty, I love gatoraide but this made me puke , I ran off the field from playing ball, grabbed the bottle took a big swig and puked, I had never tasted anything so bad in my entire life. I hope they find another flavor to replace this as i passed it to 3 other teamates and they all had the same reaction ! Not good ...."

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Lauren Drewes Daniels is the Dallas Observer's food editor. She started writing about local restaurants, chefs, beer and kouign-amanns in 2011. She's driven through two dirt devils and is certain they were both some type of cosmic force.