Deep Fry Masters. It's a Show About Deep Frying Things. They Want You to Fry Things.

I've been dreaming about this day. The day when fried food and reality TV finally make a TV show baby. And it's finally freaking here, people. Yesterday, I received an email from one of my most reliable deep-fried connections (yes, I have connections in the deep-fried world, and I'm absolutely bragging about that) about a Deep Fry Masters casting call.

It appears to be a real, actual thing that a real, actual network is producing. Which means we all need to get our real, actual asses in gear and figure out how we're going to win whatever fried trophy they're giving the winner.

Will the prize be 5,000 gallons of canola oil? Will it be a first aid kit for fryer-oil-burn victims valued at $5 million? Will it be The World's Largest Fryer (complete with fryer basket)? Will they give the winner a lifetime supply of TUMS? I hope all of these things are true.

Here's the casting call flier:

I know what you're thinking: "There's no way this shit is real. It's too wonderful." I thought that, too, so I emailed them and asked the hard-hitting questions. I got answers from a producer of the show pretty immediately. Here they are:

Is there any info you can give me to help me confirm that this is a legit casting call? We unfortunately cannot reveal what network this is specifically for but it is for a network within the Discovery family. It is a legit casting call and we will be shooting May 2nd-May 5th. We need final submissions by next Wednesday!

Why on earth would you ask any state but Texas to compete in this? We will clearly win. In reference to your second question ... haha that is a great one! This network is about all of America and so unfortunately we need to make each episode based on a different state although you are correct, Texas is indeed where all of the main players are ;)

Producer Person knows we'll win. So, let's do that. Put on your deep-fried apron, get out your lucky deep-fried underwear, put on your deep-fried game face and get your fryers frying. Then, email DeepFryMasters@gmail.com. Tell them you want to fry Taco Bell's Doritos Locos Tacos. Or Pepcid. Or socks. I don't care what you tell them you're frying, just enter this dang competition and bring back a win for Texas. If any other state wins this competition, we have all lost at life.

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