Today the Associated Press regaled us with the news that the National Pork Board (right? Take your time with that one) announced its decision to replace its nearly 25-year-old slogan "The Other White Meat." Bold decision -- the old one's a brilliant slogan. It equates pork with the ubiquitous and innocuous chicken, with just a hint of edginess. If it ain't broke, right? Apparently not.
The new slogan? "Pork: Be Inspired."
Yes, someone was paid to come up with that.
The AP cited Ceci Snyder, the board's VP of marketing, as saying that the "white meat" slogan was geared toward showing pork's healthy side during years of higher beef consumption, as well as drawing in new consumers, whereas this inspirational effort would "take pork in a new direction." The new slogan is aimed at getting existing pork consumers more enthused about the meat, now that pork sales have flatlined. Pig pushing.
We here at City of Ate feel the new slogan falls right in the slop bucket. We got inspired by the board's massive porkbelly-flop, though, and offer these more effective taglines:
Trichinosis: The Threat is Overblown.
Defeat the Big Bad Wolf of Hunger... with Pork.
Pork Your Hunger.
When Pigs Lie...On Your Plate.
Pork: Jesus Said It Was OK.
It's Time for a Pork.
You Can't Fake a Good Porking
Have Pork, Will Travel.
Knife and Pork
Life: Where There is Never a Porking Fee
Be Thinner Than Your Dinner. Eat Pork.
Where the Sidewalk Ends, The Pork Begins.
Pork: It's Forkin' Delicious
Pork: Nice to Meat You
Pork: Feast Your Eyes on This Meat
We're on our way we're making it...PIG TIME! (Thanks, Peter Gabriel.)
Bacon. I mean, fucking BACON. Right?
Pork: Because Animal Farm Sucked Anyway.
Pork: So Much Better Than Getting an Abortion in Texas
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