Zach Johnson? Jason Day? Jordan Spieth?
With apologies to the winners of the Colonial and Byron Nelson tournaments and the smashing debut of the 16-year-old Jesuit High School golfer, the hottest person recently on our local courses carried no clubs and wore high heels, a dress and 19 tattoos. While the pros played in Las Colinas and Fort Worth the past two weeks, Joslyn James took her game to Cedar Crest Golf Course in South Dallas.
Veronica Siwik-Daniels—better known as James—didn't play a round. But she did, as porn stars are wont to do, play around. Step aside Debbie, it's Joslyn's turn to do Dallas.
"I love Dallas," James said last Friday afternoon. "Everything's bigger in Texas, right?"
James, who granted a rare sit-down interview to the Dallas Observer, served as host to the Tiger Tail tournament, a unique event which featured stripper poles, massage tables, porn star Tori Black and Tiger Woods look-a-like Mark Taborn, who had everyone double-taking and her second-guessing.
"I was just staring at him in the limo," James said. "I had to apologize, because he was just tripping me out. Amazing."
James should be able to spot fake stripes. After all, she claims to have engaged in a three-year relationship with Woods that included two pregnancies, countless sexting and mutual adoration.
"I loved him, yes," she said. "Tiger told me that he loved me back."
At Cedar Crest, James' chores included chatting up tournament players, posing for pictures and creating a buzz for the awards dinner at The Lodge. She also spent her wild weekend "performing" at Silver City Cabaret and partying at the downtown club Plush. In between, she attempted to set the record straight:
About her affair with the world's greatest golfer. About how she harbors no guilt at her part in sports' all-time biggest sex scandal. And about how one would go about picking up a porn star.
"First of all, I'm not a porn star," James said, sucking down a Corona after the awards ceremony at The Lodge. "I'm a girl who did some porn movies. But I'm just a normal girl. I'll date dorks, regular guys. Take me bowling. I love go-carts. My favorite things are going to Home Depot, the grocery store and the smell of clean laundry. OK, I also like naked dominoes. And when I'm in Texas it's a Whataburger: No. 1 with cheese and a root beer."
James, whose résumé includes MILF Worship 4, says she met Woods at a Las Vegas casino nightclub. Her first reaction?
"He was a giant douchebag," James said, "acting like he was all that."
But after a couple advances, she relented. Regrettably.
"I wish I would've stuck with that initial feeling about him," she said. "I don't know why, but one night he asked to see me and I went over and sat down with him. I can't explain why. I just went with the moment. I don't know what made me."
From that humble debut the relationship flourished, even though—yes—Woods was married to wife Elin.
"He'd tell me his marriage wasn't great, and I guess there were times when I wanted him to leave her for me," James said. "But I know this: Tiger's marriage didn't end because of me."
Hard to know exactly, since 16 women have admitted to sexual escapades with him and published reports have estimated that Tiger confessed to 120 partners other than his wife over a three-year period.
"Take that number and multiply it by three," James said. "You still won't be close to the number of Tiger's women. All this stuff has come out but no one really has any idea as to how big of a player he was."
In March James shed the harshest light on Tiger's shenanigans, making public what she alleged were texts from Tiger. They included graphic descriptions of sex and even addressed choking, golden showers and slapping James during a particularly kinky session.
For a while James wanted an apology. She never, however, wanted cash.
She said she had unprotected intercourse with Woods over the three years, twice getting pregnant. One time she miscarried and the other she had an abortion.
"I don't treat babies like meal tickets," James said. "At that point in my life I wasn't ready for a child and neither was he. My relationship with Tiger was never about money."
James' critics consistently doubt her claims, alleging she is attempting to exploit Woods in a desperate attempt for fame and fortune.
"I was there. I have firsthand knowledge and I have pretty good recollection of how it all happened," she said. "Trust me, I was pregnant with Tiger's child. Twice."
James said she was last with Woods on October 4, 2009, about seven weeks before his infamous Thanksgiving night SUV crash into a tree near his Florida home. Various reports have said that Elin may have chased or even hit Woods with a golf club that night.
"I don't want to go into how I felt when I heard that news. It's kind of like dirty old socks to me," James said. "But I'll say this: I hope she whacked him good."
James would love a meeting with Elin, but until then she'll go back to her home in Los Angeles. She has a cosmetics line in the works, some upcoming TV roles and later this month the release of her new movie, The 11th Hole. Title isn't that hard to figure out, is it?
Maintains James, "I'm not exploiting anything or anyone."
Neither, so he says, is Taborn, the 37-year-old impersonator. Like Tiger, he's immaculate in his dress—black Nike cap, red golf shirt—and stoic mannerisms. For eight years he's made a decent living doing photo shoots or traveling to golf tournaments as a Woods look-alike.
But today in Dallas is the first day of the rest of his life.
"I'm playing the 'Bad Tiger,'" Taborn said. "I'm scared shitless."
Taborn, who is a 23 handicap by the way, hits it off with James. They share stories in the limo and over dinner at The Lodge. He contemplates joining her at Plush late Friday night, but his looks are both gift and curse.
"I have trouble just going out and being Mark," he says. "Sometimes people point and look and talk. I can't believe Tiger goes through that every day. It's horrible."
As a parting gift, James is left with memories—and a tattoo. Going down her spine starting at the base of her neck are the words Loyalty and Patience.
"I got them because that's what I promised Tiger," she said. "He liked to see them when he was back there...doing stuff."
James seems conflicted about her relationship with Woods, at times lamenting the decision to strike up an affair with a married man and at others stubbornly clinging to the fond memories of a special bond with a unique man.
"How has it changed me? I think that's still open for discussion," she said. "I mean, there are times when I still find myself sorting through it all. I loved him.
"But at the same time I never really expected him to leave his wife. I'm not stupid."
