MC 900 Ft. Jesus, Vanilla Ice Get Lampooned In History Of White Rappers Feature

With the recent emergence of Asher Roth coupled with the return of Eminem, it was only a matter of time before features like this one, which chronicles the history of white rap artists, started popping up around the Internet. This "White Men Can't Rap?" feature in particular takes a look...

By Pete Freedman

May 22, 2009

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "18855504",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17105533",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18349797",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17105532",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18349797",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17105535",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

With the recent emergence of Asher Roth coupled with the return of Eminem, it was only a matter of time before features like this one, which chronicles the history of white rap artists, started popping up around the Internet.

This "White Men Can't Rap?" feature in particular takes a look at 20 white rappers, starting with the Beastie Boys and runs all the way up to Roth--but it manages to touch on two Dallasites in the process. One's pretty obvious: Vanilla Ice gets predicatably thrown through the ringer for his "stilted rhymes, cheesy image and presumptive tough-guy image."

But the other? Well, let's just say this: I had no idea there was so much MC 900 Ft. Jesus hate out there...

Check out what the story has to say about Mark Griffin:

In 1989, one of the first pure joke white rappers emerged. His name: MC 900 Ft. Jesus. This Dallas "artist" fell victim to a misstep that could trip up almost any rapper: he tried to overtly preach in his rhymes. But beyond that, the Texas MC had plenty of other artistic shortcomings. Rhyming off beat on his 1989 single "Truth Is Out Of Style," the song sounds as though it could have been delivered by a 50-year-old professor. Ultimately, the problem was that 900 Foot's style was never in fashion.

Yeesh.

Whatever--take it all with a grain of salt. Shockhound.com, where this story is featured, is the sister music-sales company of Hot Topic.

Become A Member

BEFORE YOU GO...
Can you help us continue to share our stories? Since the beginning, Dallas Observer has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas — and we'd like to keep it that way. Our members allow us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls.