But followers of Damian Gracia know these kinds of online check-ins are nothing new. Dallasites have had the local life coach to check up with them weekly to reduce mental health stigmas.
Since 2018, Gracia has used his online platform, @damiangracia47 on Instagram, to share positive messages, advice and stories about his own struggles with mental health. Across all aspects of his work, which range from life coaching to broadcasting, Gracia says he’s always looking to make authentic personal connections with someone new, especially someone who may be in a position where they need it most.
“I like to find out if people are OK because I am truly fascinated with everybody's story of how they got to where they are, and how that translates to finding that human aspect, that connection,” Gracia says. “When people ask, ‘How’s it going?’ a lot of us just respond with, ‘Good.’ In reality, there’s often a lot of us that aren’t good. And if you’re not good, I want to know why, I want to know what's keeping you going. It's a lot deeper than just the typical human interactions that a lot of us do on a day-by-day basis.”
On Jan. 29, Gracia’s message reached far beyond his own online platform when he was featured in a viral video posted by content creator Hunter Prosper. Prosper, known for his “Stories from a Stranger” series on TikTok, showcases strangers' personal testimonies to encourage others to connect and listen to one another. Because of the pair’s similar goals toward connection, Gracia soon responded to Prosper’s open Instagram story invite for those around Dallas-Fort Worth to DM him for a possible meet-up. To Gracia’s surprise, Prosper responded to a message and the two soon got to talking in a nearby park.
The conversation lasted longer than expected. Gracia didn’t realize the pair had been speaking for more than an hour until his knees started to lock up from standing for so long. Prosper and Garcia spoke about life, growing up and how it has affected them, but a lot of their meeting was left on the cutting room floor to make the final 1:09 edit of the video. The video, which has since amassed over one million views, highlights Gracia’s response to the question, “When was the last time you cried?”
“Yesterday,” Gracia said. “I just started tearing up, and I asked out loud as if someone was next to me, I was like, ‘Why now?’ Like is this 10-year-old me? Check in. No. Is this 16-year-old me? It was 20-year-old me. I’ve neglected that one.”
Gracia went on to explain his past struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts. He says at that earlier point in his life he felt he had no one and nothing to turn to. Since growing up and growing out of old mindsets, Gracia says he has a much healthier relationship with himself and others to look back at his inner child and help him heal from past doubts and pain. In doing so, he has been able to find a purpose in living each day for himself and for others who may be able to learn from his own experiences.
“I have something to live for,” Gracia said in the video. “I don’t know what that is yet, but I have something to live for, and I think that’s the fun part — trying to figure that out now.”
“If anything, that's exactly the goal — to show that there are two sides of every coin, and that the same goes for the internet,” Gracia says. “We talk about all the negativity online, but there is also light, there is positivity, there is legitimacy to caring about one another. And if that's something I can help with, and help people see that the more positivity you digest, the more feeling you digest, the better we can be.”
Even though Gracia’s story was cut down to just over a minute, many still found deeper meanings within his story. Drawing more than 3,000 comments across TikTok and Instagram, the video has inspired others to share their own experiences with loneliness and mental health struggles similar to Gracia’s. Many offered their thanks for his being open enough to help them know that they have not been alone in their struggle.
“Thank you. I’m a 20-year-old young man trying to find my way in this world myself. I needed to hear this,” @iamtruvon commented on the video.
Others found a sense of connection to the larger issue at hand that Gracia and Prosper brought to light and offered messages of support to Gracia and others who may find themselves in similar stages of their lives.
“And THIS is why we need to be kinder to strangers, lead with love, and offer hugs. Damien's life matters and he has purpose. His vulnerability in this clip has healed countless others whom he may never meet so I hope he is healed too,” @chinogba commented.
Since meeting with Prosper, Gracia has been shocked and humbled by the wide responses the video has elicited online. While he often encourages others to reach out to him in times when they need a friend or healing, he says it’s rare for someone to ask him how he is feeling himself. His conversation with Prosper encouraged him to look more deeply within, and to form deeper connections with others — like Prosper — who see the need to encourage these types of reflective conversations.
Gracia says he met with Prosper not to gain a larger following but to learn how to be a better life coach. Since speaking with another like-minded creator and seeing such open support from a range of viewers, Gracia believes the experience has taught him new ways to connect with others in the everyday world.
“It’s cathartic, because by helping others I’m also helping me,” Gracia says. “In the video, I said I didn't know what my purpose was, and being able to do this helps me get closer to that. Being able to be that outlet for others helps me understand me a lot better — to see what my motivations are, to see what my personal triggers are. When I'm sharing stories, I find that it's been exponential to knowing my growth, but others’ growth as well.”
As Gracia has shared his story with the public, he hopes others can share their own stories with him. Aside from his own past, Gracia’s professional work helping children, families and now those homeless in Dallas has helped him understand the need for open and understanding outlets for human connection. He says something as simple as asking someone how their day is can make a world of a difference in someone’s life.
Gracia may be more well-versed in speaking openly about mental health and exploring its effect on himself and others, but he says he is no expert, and that continuously connecting with others online and in person teaches him something new every day about how people can help make each other better.
“Even though you know I'm in my 40s now, I'm still growing,” Gracia says. “I'm still trying to figure things out. I'm still trying to put the puzzle pieces together after they got broken apart. And by doing this for others, I'm learning so much about myself, but also about realizing that people need help and not just the ones you see on the news. It's the day-to-day stuff. And for me that's important.”
As Gracia continues his work online and beyond, he hopes to show how things can get better. Despite the constant negativity others may see online, in the news and in their day-to-day lives, Gracia wants people to know that there is still positivity to be found — and the more positivity people digest, the better they can be. By working together as a society to act more like a community, Gracia hopes we can all realize that there is never a limit to how one can grow or help others do the same.
“Never stop questioning yourself,” Gracia says. “We all have these quarter-life or midlife crises, it seems. So going to buy a car or taking a trip around the world, that's going to just be fleeting. Let's really ask questions of how do I fix what I may not like about my personal existence right now, or how do I change it? Or how do I just see what's on the other side of struggle? Because that’s what really helps us uncover parts of us, parts of others that have previously been tucked away.”
