Gutter Punks


We, the smarty-pants reporter for the oh-so-hip alternative weekly, will now attempt to write about a bowling event without any snideness or class snobbery. Promise. How hard could it be? Any sport featuring beer, rented shoes and guys with 60-inch waistbands can't be all ba...OK, that didn't even last as long as most of our promises. Sorry, bowlers. To make it up to you, we'll share a secret: We actually kinda dig bowling. It's fun and relaxed. The people are generally friendly. Our outward hostility stems from the fact that we suck at it and, frankly, are embarrassed that those 15-pound balls seem so heavy to our girly writer arms. Those of you without any of our issues, however, can take heart. Don Carter's All Star Lanes, 10920 Composite Drive, is hosting the PBA Days Inn Open & Pro-Am from February 17 through February 22, featuring such pros as Dallas' Chris Barnes competing for $40,000 in top prize money alongside adult amateurs chasing a $1,000 top prize. Youth and high school-squad competitions also will be held. Call 214-358-1382 or visit the Dallas section of the Web site And if you see a thin-armed man with dark glasses during the tourney, watching wistfully, please forgive him. --Patrick Williams

Start Your Engines

I was really excited when I heard the big O'Reilly event was rolling into Dallas. See, I'm big into politics, and I thought radio show host Bill O'Reilly was coming to town. Turns out that's not so, and I'm a big dork. As it is, Dallas is welcoming the O'Reilly Autorama to the metroplex with "excitement and anticipation." There would have been more excitement and anticipation on this end had it been Big Bill, but back to the Autorama. The 44th annual event will feature custom cars and trucks and celebrities ranging from the Coors Light Twins to R. Lee Ermey of Full Metal Jacket fame. The Autorama will be held at Dallas Market Hall from February 13 through February 15. Show hours are 3 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Friday, 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. Saturday and 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Sunday. Children under 5 are admitted free. Call 214-520-3430. --John Gonzalez

Wild Life
Fossil Rim has animal magnetism

All together now, one...two...three: "Jungle love, it's drivin' me mad. It's makin' me crazy." What's that you say? You're not familiar with the oeuvre of the Steve Miller Band? Oh, well. Never mind. Besides, the animals on display at the Fossil Rim Wildlife Center in Glen Rose are mostly plains-dwellers anyway--giraffes, wildebeests, etc. Nevertheless, if you and your love are looking for a wild Valentine's Day, the park is ready for you, offering an after-hours tour and dinner in its glass-walled Safari Camp Pavilion overlooking the watering hole. We asked the center's marketing director if diners might get a...wink, wink...Valentine show with their meal. "I couldn't guarantee they won't," she replied. "It's coming on spring; you never know." Even without the floor show, $75 per person will get you prime rib, a glass of wine and dessert. The park is located at 2155 County Road 2008 in Glen Rose. Call 1-254-897-2960. --Patrick Williams

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