The Fictional Schools We'd Like to Attend, and the Ones Where We're Definitely Skipping Class

If you’ve been to your local Wal-Mart and Target lately, you've known that for a while now that it's Back to School season. Capitalism never sleeps, especially during holiday shopping. “Back to school” materials are being carted off the shelves; it's time to start getting ready for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations already.

Movies and television have often provided a more optimistic and exciting depiction of school life than what we experienced growing up. We all wish we had friends like the characters in the John Hughes movies, but in real life, high school can’t be as fun as it is in The Breakfast Club.

TV and movies have given us memorable school staff such as the well-meaning counselor on Freaks and Geeks, the based-on-real-life, rough-as-hell high school teacher with no support played by Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds, and the absurdly cruel elementary principal Ms. Trunchbull in Matilda.

Credit is due to modern movies that have acknowledged the reality that high school really sucks. Lady Bird, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, The Spectacular Now and The Perks of Being A Wallflower are all great examples of films that don’t glamorize these pivotal years.

However, films and television shows have also explored the similarities between our educational system and those in their fictional universes. You’re going to experience bullying, homework and social pressure whether you’re going to school in Dallas or in the galaxy far, far away. We took a look at some fictional schools where we’re already signing up for classes and a few that sound worse than detention.

Great: Starfleet Academy, Star Trek
Granted, you’ll definitely have to deal with some annoying exams in the Star Trek universe like the “Kobayashi Maru,” a test designed to be unwinnable. That being said, it doesn’t seem like the standards for joining the Federation’s exploratory missions are that rigorous. If a party animal like James T. Kirk can be granted an entire ship and crew, it seems like anyone can do it.

Terrible: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Harry Potter
Who doesn’t want to learn how to wield a magic wand? As much as everyone wanted to live in the Harry Potter universe (at least before J.K. Rowling divided the internet), going to Hogwarts seems pretty dangerous. Multiple students die within the course of the series, and Harry and Ron seem to be complaining about their studies and homework an awful lot. It doesn’t matter which house the Sorting Hat chooses for you. Your only Hogwarts destiny is disappointment.

Great: John Keating’s Classroom, Dead Poets Society
Dead Poets Society is one of the most positive movies about the nature of education. Robin Williams earned an Academy Award nomination for his moving performance as John Keating, an English instructor at a highly religious high school that truly teaches students to immerse themselves in their material. Although the film ends in tragedy, we hope that Keating went on to have an accomplished teaching career.

Terrible: The Jedi Academy, Star Wars
The Jedi Order is cool, right? Wrong! The Jedi are nothing but a bunch of weird monks who live in isolation. The Jedi Council seems to do nothing but sit around and not make decisions, and the Jedi training program doesn’t sound too appealing. You have to wear an ugly Padawan braid and swear a vow of celibacy before you can ever get your hands on a lightsaber.

Great: Charles Xavier’s Mutant Academy, X-Men
Being a mutant in the X-Men universe is very dangerous. You have to deal with supervillains, prying government agents and systematic discrimination. Professor X’s school gives students an opportunity to learn about their powers, and the chance to be “mutant and proud.” Plus, if the campus is ever attacked by villains, you have your history professor, Wolverine, to protect you.

Terrible: Hawkins High School, Stranger Things
Stranger Things has inherited a lot of things from the work of Stephen King, including bullies who are absolute psychopaths. Kids could be very cruel in an era before the internet. The new season of Stranger Things shows Eleven being tormented by her classmates for the crime of missing her dead adopted father. We’d love to hang out with Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Will and Max, but only during an after school bout of Dungeons and Dragons.

Great: The US Navy's Fighter Weapons School, Top Gun
Forget about Minions, Thor and Doctor Strange for a moment. Top Gun: Maverick is the box office sensation of the summer movie season, netting over $1.4 billion worldwide. We’d love to learn a few lessons from Tom Cruise’s Pete Maverick. In the Top Gun universe, school consists of 10% learning and 90% frolicking on the beach for games of beach volleyball.

Terrible: Shaffer Conservatory, Whiplash
There isn’t any horror movie from the past few years that has boasted anything scarier than J.K. Simmons saying “not quite my tempo” in Whiplash. If you’ve ever had a strict music instructor, you know the stress of getting called out in front of your class. We wouldn’t want to go through anything that Miles Teller’s Andrew Neiman experiences in this Oscar-winning film.

Great: Dewey Finn’s Class, School of Rock
Although he’s tasked with preparing a group of rich kids for their exams, Jack Black decides to invent his own curriculum in School of Rock. Yes, Dewey is trying to get his students to stand in for the band that shunned him, but he’s also teaching them valuable life lessons about business, working together and about music history.

Terrible: Professor Henry Jones’ Archeology Class, Indiana Jones
OK, so you’d have a pretty dreamy teacher if Harrison Ford was at the front of the classroom. That being said, Indy might be a better teacher if he could stop ditching class to go searching for missing artifacts. He also seems to get pretty distracted by the girls batting their eyes at him, so we’d rather help Indy on his adventures than sign up for his courses.

Great: Mr. Miyagi’s Class, The Karate Kid
So this isn’t technically a “school,” but since both Johnny Sullivan and Daniel LaRusso start their own academies in Cobra Kai, we think it counts. Learning to defend yourself has never been more fun.

Terrible: South Park Elementary, South Park
South Park aims its razor sharp satire on a lot of targets, including the education system. Does Mr. Garrison ever have anything useful to say? No wonder Cartman, Eric, Kyle and the gang turn into such hoodlums.