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Are You More of a Malibu or a Nitro? A Blaze Maybe? Zap, Gotta Be.

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NBC would like our help -- and, yes, we would totally cancel Journeyman (pilot's terrible) and The Biggest Loser, the latter of which eats up a whole 90 minutes of prime-time real estate every Tuesday night, Jesusgod. But apparently it's not that kind of help: A rep from the network shot Unfair Park an e-mail wondering if we might tout Saturday's auditions for the network's relaunching of American Gladiators, new episodes of which haven't aired for 11 years. And we said, Sure.

Local tryouts take place Saturday, from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., at the Arlington Courts, a "volleyball and sports facility" on E. Mayfield Road. You're advised to "come dressed in workout attire," which is unfortunate, as I was considering wearing this, and to bring a towel and water. Alas, you will be tested for "strength, speed, balance and agility," which DQs most of Unfair Park, by which I mean, all of Unfair Park -- though Schutze is said to excel at the "Atlasphere." We do have one question: Did NBC pick Arlington because of this? Probably not, but still. Need more info, ask these people. --Robert Wilonsky

Keep the Dallas Observer Free... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Dallas with no paywalls.

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Join the Observer community and help support independent local journalism in Dallas.