Are Bacon Jokes OK on April Fool's Day? We Think Not.

I have mixed feelings about April Fool's Day, primarily on account of my older brother, who sort of scarred me for life. I'll never be able to trust anyone on this first day of April. Even a previous story this morning about Snuffer's on Greenville closing for a rebuild had me skeptic. I emailed the owner to confirm. He had to send me a sign before I really beleived him.

Scope has been touting a bacon mouthwash the past week, but it's a joke. Which makes us sad and a little angry. Because why can't we just have nice things? Why do we have to have mouthwash that burns our mouth and makes everything taste bad for the next 20 minutes? Why can't we be fresh and ready to meet the day with bacon breath?

It made me wonder if there are other bad bacon jokes out there. People teasing us with the sultry taste (or scent) of bacon through unexpected products. Most people don't take bacon issues lightly. Pig meat elicits integrity and devotion from most of us. Poetry, art and a zealot's lust for discovery can all be attributed to thick cuts of strips of bacon. Scope should take note. We ain't got time for bacon games.

But, what about bacon soap? In a KickStarter search, I stumbled upon an ambitious group of Dallasites who said they would magically transform bacon fat into a hygiene tool -- Meat Soap. Who would ever do something like that? Maybe the BBQ King himself, Daniel Vaughn, who was recently annointed as the barbecue editor for Texas Monthly? Yep. Him. I've reached out to Vaughn (hello?) to see what happened to Meat Soap, which was fully funded at $1,500 in 2011, but have yet to hear back. Don't play games with bacon, Vaughn. (Please.)

Where's the soap?

Update: We heard back from Vaughn on the bacon soap business. He said they fulfilled all their initial orders, but ran out of bacon fat. He then asked if I was looking to start a new business. Well, actually I always have a keen eye out for good investments:

"Is there good money in the bacon soap business," I asked.

Vaughn wrote back, "Millions."

So, I have to wrap things up here and call my guy over at the Bacon and Loan.

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Lauren Drewes Daniels is the Dallas Observer's food editor. She started writing about local restaurants, chefs, beer and kouign-amanns in 2011. She's driven through two dirt devils and is certain they were both some type of cosmic force.