This week, the Cheap Bastard goes in search of tacos but finds balls instead at The Stand, 2916 McKinney Ave., 855-557-8263. Very open-minded of her.
Khakis-and-a-tie count: 6 Number of guys who walked in and said, "Ha. Sign says, 'Parking in rear.'": 5
The other day, I decided to finally check out Rock 'n' Taco on McKinney Avenue. When I got there it was so completely gone that a whole new place called The Stand had already opened up in the same location. Whoops. But then I saw a sign on their tip jar that said, "Just the tip." The tip jar was empty. It stayed that way. But it made me laugh, so I ordered some food.
Iced tea: $2. "Tater Balls," or sweet-potato tater tots: $2. Wishy Washy, which is your choice of any two mini sandwiches: $5. (I chose the burger and the "Chickadee.") While you wait for your food at The Stand, make fun of this: There are two Airstream trailers inside this restaurant. When I first saw them, I thought to myself, "So they spent the cash on Airstreams and instead of using the trailers as food trucks, they turned them into restaurant props? Lame." But a closer look reveals something much, much worse: They didn't buy two Airstreams. They cut one in half lengthwise. There's something unholy about cutting an Airstream in half. I bet it screamed.
I digress. Sweet-potato tater tots! They're crunchy, they're salty sweet, they're everything you want them to be! Get them in you!
(Cheap note: My server said you can use the salad bar to amp up your dipping sauce from the mustard and ketchup on the table to honey mustard, ranch -- shit you could dip those things in iced tea and they'd still be great.)
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As far as the mini sandwiches go, the Chickadee was, as TLC would sing, "unpretty." The menu does say "fried chicken patties," and I absolutely admit that I read "fried chicken" and nothing after that.
But menu warning or no, as soon as I looked at that Chickadee, my eyes said, "100 bucks says that chicken sandwich gives you the mouth shits." It actually didn't taste bad at all -- it just wasn't pretty. And it wasn't nearly as delicious as the mini burger and those sweet-potato tots. Next time, two mini burgers.
One more thing to note for those of you who like to eat lunch but can't spend an hour at a sit-downsteraunt: The Stand has curbside pick-up. You can call or text your order in. Someone please sext them a lunch order.