Busted Beaver Nuggets: Hillsboro Buc-ee's Won't Be Open for Eclipse, Ruining Everything

One of my favorite business stories is Toiletgate, about how Buc-ee's upended the entire gas station bathroom game in Texas. This humble convenience store from Clute, Texas, took the worst part of a road trip and made it the best. The restrooms here are the Vegas Strip bottle service version of potty breaks. Will they stand on a table and shake their ass for a tip? Not openly, but it's that energy. And now, they're sharing this gift with the rest of the country, opening locations outside of Texas.

That's just the tip of this ol' beaver berg, though. Ninety million gas pumps, the scent of cinnamon-roasted nuts wafting through the air, fresh fudge — hell, even their chapstick is good. You can do all your Christmas shopping there, they love Willie Nelson and ceramic chickens. And coolers. And sugar!

So, when word came down that the moon has scheduled a fly-by in front of our very own sun on April 8, and Hillsboro, or Eclipseboro, will be in the line of totality for more than four minutes for this once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event, the beavers got busy finishing their new store there.

This 74,000-square-foot location along Interstate 35 would have been a perfect blend of celestial and gas station wonder. The sun, moon and stars would have aligned over the beaver. It could have been that powder keg giving off sparks that Bonnie Tyler sang her heart out for.

Alas, the City of Hillsboro reported via its Facebook page that it's been informed Buc-ee's will not be open for the eclipse because of construction supply issues.
So, people traveling to Hillsboro will have to gaze skyward with their solar glasses without Beaver Nugget dust on their fingertips. #EclipseGate

If you still seek cosmic wonder under the beaver sign, other Buc-ee's close to the line of totality in North Texas include those in Corsicana, Terrell, Royse City, Melissa, Denton and Fort Worth.