If you're not in Austin for South by Southwest, you're probably going to need something to distract you from the barrage of social media updates your "cooler" friends are posting. We're here to help. There's plenty going on in Dallas this weekend and we've selected some of the best here, just for you.
Thursday, March 19
Deep Ellum Wine Walk The businesses located on Main Street in Deep Ellum open their doors every third Thursday evening for Wine Walk. It's the perfect event for the art lover whose resveratrol levels could use a little pick-me-up. For $5 you get a specially designed wine glass which will be topped off as you meander through the neighborhood's stores and galleries. Make Kettle Art Gallery (2650-B Main St.) your first stop at 5 p.m. Thursday. For more information and a list of participating shops, visit Deep Ellum's Facebook page. - Kathryn Debruler
Crate Dating What's worse than going on three dates with someone before realizing they are a horrible human being and can never be trusted? It's not that they have a criminal past or put ketchup on their eggs, it's that they listen to that ... music. You know, Nickleback or slow jazz or worse, Pitbull. Off The Record will host Crate Dating, a record store-specific speed dating experience that is perfect for fans of all music. During the first hour is when you dig for the album that you want to represent you. After choosing your record, you will drop it in a crate depending on your label. (Men seeking women, women seeking men, men seeking men, women seeking women). When it is your turn to dig through the crates, you will pick an album that interests you. The person who originally picked that album will see you picked it and bam, you have a love connection -- or at least something to talk about, which is half the battle of dating, anyway. Stop by 8-11 p.m. Thursday to find the love of your life at Off The Record, 2719 Elm St. Or visit their Facebook page for more information. - Paige Skinner
Fargo Long before it was a show, Fargo was a movie staring Frances McDormand and co-starring her gnarly accent. She plays a pregnant police chief who stumbles on a disturbingly bumbled crime. William H. Macy plays a struggling car salesman with a hot tip on an investment property. The only problem? He's a struggling car salesman. Duh. Down but definitely not out, Macy comes up with a plan - have Steve Buscemi kidnap his wife and hold her for a sizable ransom that her wealthy father will surely pay. Needless to say, things don't go according to plan and shit gets real. To top it all off, this is based on a true story. Yikes. Sign a prenup, people, preferably one with a "do not kidnap" me clause. Check out all the plot twists and turns on the big screen Thursday, March 19th at 7:00 p.m. and again on Sunday, March 22nd at 5:00 p.m. at Texas Theater, 231 W. Jefferson Blvd.- Nikki Lott
Jo Baker's Jane Austen Fan Fiction After studying literature at Oxford, Jo Baker was no longer interested in writing. Reading all of the greats from English literature put a halt in Baker's creative brain. Thankfully, Baker found her footing again and began to write novel after novel. Her latest, Longbourn, is set at the fictional home of the Bennett family in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, but its heroine is Sarah, an orphaned housemaid. Baker fleshes out a character whose name - and only a name - is mentioned just once by Austen. Baker will be at Arts and Letters Live for a talk. There also will be a pre-event dinner featuring British-themed food. The dinner starts at 5:30 p.m. Thursday and the talk starts at 7:30 p.m. at the Dallas Museum of Art, 1717 N. Harwood St. More at dma.org. Tickets are $35, $20 for members. - Paige Skinner
The Testament of Mary Mary (yes, that Mary) is often portrayed as obedient, peaceful and poised, but what happens when we dig deeper? When an author sets out to create a humanized version of our beloved virgin? The result is Irish author Colm Tóibín's short novel, The Testament of Mary. In it, Tóibín brings to life an entirely different character altogether. His Mary is elderly, relying on the writers of the gospel to bring her food and provide her shelter. They insist that her son is the son of God, but Mary refuses to believe it. What's more, she also refuses to endorse their testimony. In 2011, the book was turned into a monologue and debuted at the Dublin Theatre Festival. In 2013, it opened on Broadway to rave reviews and three Tony nominations including the coveted Best Play. Now, the Undermain Theatre (3200 Main St.) offers their adaptation featuring local actress, Shannon Kearns. The show runs from Wednesday through Saturday, April 11. Tickets will cost you $10-30 at undermain.org. - Nikki Lott
Friday, March 20 The King & I The world of Rodgers and Hammerstein is not a complicated one: it's a place where Nazi aggression can be defeated by song; where love conquers all, even in death; and where manslaughter trials can be folded into wedding receptions, no prob. It's all so laughably improbable that you have to wonder what those two were drinking while they were sketching out plots for the musicals that have dominated much of modern theater. The King and I is no exception. It follows the old Rodgers and Hammerstein formula of unbelievable plot plus jarring political incorrectness plus plucky woman who charms intractable man with her songs and dances. Though this story of a British schoolteacher and the King of Siam is a cultural relic, it's one that continues to inspire affection among its audiences because of its beautiful simplicity. Timeless tunes lodge in your head for eternity, and the exploration of love in all its forms speaks to just about anyone who has ever had their heart broken, taken or denied. The King and I plays at the Music Hall at Fair Park (909 First Ave) beginning this Friday and through April 5. Shows are 7:30 p.m. Tuesdays through Sundays, with 1:30 p.m. matinees Saturday and Sunday. Tickets are $25 to $98; visit dallassummermusicals.org. - Jennifer Davis-Lamm
My Own Private Idaho Cinewilde, the wonderful organization behind the monthly LGBT screenings at the Texas Theatre brings you its next installment at 9 p.m. Friday with My Own Private Idaho. An adaptation of Henry IV pts. I and II, told through Burroughs' "cuts ups," Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix star as two sex workers searching for meaning. It screens at the Texas Theatre after an 8:30 p.m. pre show talk. The whole thing will cost you $10.50. More at thetexastheatre.com. - Lauren Smart
Saturday, March 21 The Red Shoes + Dallas Neo-Classical Ballet "The Red Shoes" is the singularly most messed-up fairy tale in Hans Christian Andersen's oeuvre; reading it as a 5-year-old is a pretty horrifying experience that will not only stunt any inclination toward shoe hoarding, but also burn into your head a long-lasting image of a pair of bright red kicks. That same image inspired a film by British filmmakers Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger, who employed a Technicolor process (via cinematographer Jack Cardiff) that gives those red shoes an almost nightmarish intensity. The Red Shoes adapts the fairy tale into a story of a ballet, and adds elements of artistic struggle, brilliant choreography and unparalleled cinematography for a feast of a film that will stir and unsettle long after the images have stopped coming. Don't miss the beautiful 35mm edition of the classic 1948 movie at the Texas Theatre (231 W. Jefferson Blvd.) at 8 p.m. Saturday. Immediately preceding the performance, the Dallas Neo-Classical Ballet will perform four new works; tickets are $15 at thetexastheatre.com. - Jennifer Davis-Lamm
FOE Chili Cookoff The recent bouts of cold weather have taken a devastating toll on our roads, psyche and soul. We may not get as much snow as other parts of the country but as every resident Texan knows, just a few inches of snowfall means that certain doom is soon to follow. Few things can wipe away the sting of seasonal weather patterns better than a nice, big, steaming hot bowl of homemade Texas chili. It doesn't just warm up you up on a bitter, cold day. It has natural healing agents that make you forget you're experiencing the two weeks out of the year that Dallas actually has true winter weather. You can get your fill of this bowl based miracle thanks to the Dallas Fraternal Order of Eagles 3108's Chili Cook-Off featuring a ton of homemade entries of this classic Texas dish. All of the proceeds from the chili cook-off will benefit the Denise Landers Cancer Fund. The Dallas Fraternal Order of Eagles 3108 is located at 8500 Arturo Dr. in Dallas. Entries at $20 per chili entry and $5 for a beans entry or a "Junior Chili" entry. More information at https://www.facebook.com/DallasFOE3108. - Danny Gallagher
Stewart Goodyear It'd probably be easier to list the venues pianist Stewart Goodyear has not played than the ones he's played -- it seems the young phenom has already done it all. A composer, concerto soloist and recitalist, Goodyear is one of the most talked-about pianists in the world, and deservedly so. For a performer for whom the term "accomplished" doesn't go quite far enough, we have a program the likes of which most of Dallas' listeners have rarely, if ever, experienced. In one day, Goodyear will lay bare the full complexity of his variegated skill-set, performing all 32 of Beethoven's piano sonatas -- again, all in one day (let that sink in). The three-part performance takes place Saturday at Dallas City Performance Hall. The first segment begins at 10 a.m., the second at 3 p.m., the last at 8 p.m. Tickets are available as a three-piece package, or for each individual performance; prices start at just $25. More information at http://www.attpac.org/on-sale/2015/stewart-goodyear/. - Jonathan Patrick
Wipeout Run There are people in this world who are diehard runners. Those people don't make excuses like "It's too cold outside to run" or "The wind makes my hair frizzy" or "My kid is too big to be strapped in a stroller while I run for two hours." They get out there and do while we stay in and watch Ghostbusters again on Netflix. But just because runners are committed to their health, fitness and expensive sports bras doesn't mean they can easily slip past a giant swinging pendulum or massive ball barreling their way. The Wipeout Run 5K on Saturday aims to up the stakes for sprinters and joggers alike with its insane obstacle course, modeled after the hit TV show Wipeout. Participants will make their way through an untimed course at Globe Life Park (1000 Ball Park Way, Arlington) that features giant slides, water wipeouts and large-scale dodgeballs. A leisurely jaunt around White Rock this ain't: This is 3.1 miles of epic obstacles, guaranteed to leave a mark (and let's be honest, watching a runner get nailed by giant balls is almost as good as Ghostbusters). Call us when you're done and we'll couch-to-5K some Bengay for ya. Registration is $63 to $73 at wipeoutrun.com/dallas. Start times are staggered from 10 a.m. until 7 p.m. -Jennifer Davis-Lamm
Dallas Comedy Jam Dallas has a growing comedy community but just the simple act of going to a comedy club can be a huge hassle. If you're going to see just one comedian, there is no guarantee that the person you are paying your hard earned money to see will actually be funny. All it takes is one rude heckler to completely derail a show and throw the comedian off their game. So why not increase your chances of maximizing your entertainment dollar by paying one price to see five, headlining comedians in one show? Enter the Dallas Comedy Jam at the Verizon Theatre at Grand Prairie. The show will bring five top names of comedy talent to the theater on Saturday, March 21st including Richard Pryor Award winner and "Queens of Comedy" headliner Sommore, radio host and "Everybody Hates Chris" co-star Earthquake, "BET Comic View" and "Def Jam" regular Arnez J, "Apollo Live" host Tony Rock and "Tom Joyner Morning Show" regular Huggy Lowdown. The Verizon Theatre at Grand Prairie is located at 1001 Performance Place in Grand Prairie. Tickets are between $39 and $71 depending on available seating. More information at http://www.verizontheatre.com. Sat. March 21, 8 p.m. 2015. - Danny Gallagher
Palestine, Texas The lore of Texas runs strong in America. Every small town has a story, a history, a legend, a myth. You'll recognize yourself in a lot of the stories, the characters that make up these places. And in artist Noah Simblist's creation, you'll recognize something else as well - a conflict on foreign soil might start to feel closer to home. For his exhibition at the Reading Room (3715 Parry Ave.), Simblist imagines a small American town "where the utopian location of Zion can always be found on the horizon and catastrophe is always underfoot." The opening reception is 6-8 p.m. Saturday, but related discussions will take place from 4-6 p.m. March 21 and 4-6 p.m. April 12. More at www.thereadingroom-dallas.blogspot.com. - Lauren Smart
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Joy Laville, Chuck and George, Flor Garduño Three very different artists take over the McKinney Avenue Contemporary this weekend. Mexican-based artist Joy Laville's paintings return to Dallas for her first exhibition in 30 years, featuring work from five decades of painting. In the square gallery, Dallas-based collaborative duo Chuck and George create an immersive installation "channelling 1970s kitsch." In their crazy world you'll find tech pop microwaves filled with "turducken gravy boat, sweet piglet pussy pie, and melting parfaits of flattery, create a fantastical tower of lights." The press release describes it as comic and disturbing. There will also be a display of Flor Garduño's photography. Swing by the opening reception at 5:30 p.m. Saturday at the MAC (3120 McKinney Avenue) or see the work through May 9. Admission is free. More information at the-mac.org. - Lauren Smart
La Boheme Hey, you. Don't skip this blurb just because you can't afford opera tickets. This weekend, the Dallas Opera hosts its annual free live streaming of the opera at AT&T Stadium. That's right, FREE OPERA. See the opera our writer, Monica Hinman, loved. Doors open at 6 p.m. Parking is free. Or see it at the opera house. Tickets start as low as $19. - Lauren Smart
Everyday Use Some people might try to convince you that there is art in the everyday. You might scoff and return to your spreadsheets. It's the same premise interdisciplinary artist Lauren Cross functions under, but she knows what she's looking for. Opening at the South Dallas Cultural Center (3400 S. Fitzhugh Ave.) this weekend, an exhibition of her work titled Everyday Use, "explores everyday objects and memories as artistic contributions to African American history and culture." She uses photography, video, and installation work, including everything from found family photos and sound recordings to weave together an exhibition interested in personal and shared histories. Cross is interested in the use of art as documentation, as cultural and familial preservation. See the work in opening reception at 5 p.m. Saturday or through April 25. Admission is free. More information at dallasculture.org/sdculturalcenter. - Lauren Smart
Sunday, March 22 Jazz Age Sunday Social Sometimes, in certain parts of Dallas that have been largely spared bulldozer-happy redevelopment, you can almost imagine what this city might have been like at the beginning of the 20th century. Squint hard enough at Fair Park, and in sections of Deep Ellum and Oak Cliff, and there are enough art deco elements to take you right back to the Jazz Age, whose fashion and excess bore no hint of the hard times to come. In black and white stills of the era, it looks so energetic and free, and maybe that's why it's still so fun to superficially attempt to recreate the time. The Dallas Heritage Village (1515 S. Harwood St.) turns the calendar back for its 2015 Jazz Age Sunday Social at noon Sunday. The event, co-sponsored by the Art Deco Society of Dallas, is a full-on costumed throwback that puts all the trappings of the F. Scott Fitzgerald years at your fingertips: vintage car rides, dance lessons, antique vendors and live jazz from the Singapore Slingers and Razzmajazz Dixieland Band all come together for a flap-tastic garden party. Tickets are $10; admission is free for kids 12 and under. Visit dallasheritagevillage.org for more. - Jennifer Davis-Lamm