Dallas is a funny place. After you've lived here long enough, you'll grow a strange combination of love and hatred for this place. You'll also begin to understand the importance of name dropping. If you're new to town, here's your humble-bragging how-to. If you don't want to look like a philistine at your next cocktail party, rely on this Dallasbabble and people will think you belong here. And if that's your goal, who are we to judge?
Arts District When someone asks you where you're coming from, tell them you were just strolling through the Arts District. See any good art? No, of course not, you respond, I was just there to admire the architecture.
The Bushes Have you been making art with the former president? Did you use Wikipedia images as sources of inspiration?
Mark Cuban Tell people that you're the reason Marky Mark saved the Greenville St. Paddy's Day parade. They'll want to make out with you when they're drunk. Promise.
Pete Delkus Bring up his sleeves. Buttoned = skies are clear. Rolled up = apocalypse.
J.R. Ewing Oil tycoon. Southfork Ranch. RIP Larry Hagman.
Dean Fearing Try to get this out without puking: "When last I dined at Fearing's and I ran into Owen Wilson. It was deeevine, dahhhling."
Gilley's Last night, I was SO wasted that I went to Gilley's. And it wasn't even for a concert.
Sam Horowitz The only 13-year-old you should ever admit to partying with.
Icepocalypse OMG, do you remember Super Bowl XLV? There was SOOOO much snow and ice on the roads. Like, at least one inch.
Jerry Jones Whatever you do, don't bring up Super Bowl XLV.
Patrick Kennedy Want to tear down a few highways? How many times can you use the word "walkable" in a sentence?
Sam Lao You were hanging out with the sexy queen of Dallas hip hop? Hashtag jealous.
Peter Mayhew The world's favorite wookiee lives in Boyd, Texas.
Dirk Nowitzski Never use his full name, it's just Dirk. (No one here can pronounce "NohV-it-ski.") Alternatively, he will accept Dirk Diggler, The German Wunderkind,The Germanator, Dunking Deutschman.
Lee Harvey Oswald If I need to explain this one, go stick your head in a toilet.
John Wiley Price He told you to go to hell? Welcome to Dallas, whitey.
Quixotic World Need a quick way to prove you're not an uptowner? Pull this offbeat Deep Ellum joint out of the back pocket of your ripped jeans.
Mayor Rawlings You'll never believe it, but last night when we were hanging out, Mikey wanted to order Domino's.
Jim Schutze You stopped by the Observer office last week to see if Schutze really does come to work in a bathrobe, carrying a shotgun. (Yes. Yes, he does.)
The Toadies Sure, millenials may not know what Possum Kingdom is really about, but you do and that should make you feel cool. And old.
Upstream Color I'm just going to stay in today and watch Shane Carruth's abstract masterpiece. Because, it reaches my soul, man.
St. Vincent Just because you went to Lake Highlands doesn't mean you were friends with Annie Clark.
Klyde Warren If you're looking for community service hours, why not help out everybody's favorite Dallas pre-teen clean up his namesake deck park?
Xchange Did you attend the Nasher Sculpture Center's 10th birthday party?
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Yu Darvish Just don't be a dickbag and sing Soulja Boy when he walks into the room. Be chill, man.
Jaap Van Zweden His biggest fans call him Uncle Jaap... or maybe that's just me.