The 10 Best Dallas-Fort Worth Bars to Make Bad Decisions
We're not passing judgement here. We just think some decisions are better than others.
Bad decisions. We all make them, especially when we're drinking. Sometimes we're trying to get over a really bad breakup with a girl who doesn't understand she's The One, other times it simply feels right to go for that extra shot or five. There are any number of ways to send a night completely off the rails, and when it goes, where ya gonna be? Chances are, at one of these 10 DFW bars.
10. Addison Point
You’re good at singing and the only thing you love more than a Martina McBride song is the approval of everyone within earshot. You combine your two loves and sign up for karaoke at Addison Point. The man in charge of the microphone shakes his head as if he knows what you’re capable of. When it’s your turn, you begin singing and dancing and screeching, and realize not only are you a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, but also people are cheering for you. And then you turn around and see the TV screen playing a sportsball game. The grunting men love Tony Brady Romo more than you. Paige Skinner
4578 Belt Line Rd., Dallas, addisonpointbar.net
Listen, I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind, but maybe the bar bathroom isn’t the place for it. Visitors to the Black Swan seem completely unable to handle Gabe Sanchez’s world-beating cocktails; they canoodle like teenagers who've gotten into their parents Schnapps. I’m up to three almost random hook-ups at this bar in the last five months (warning: humblebrag alert), and I only sort of look like Jon Snow. Really, this is one hell of a bar; just make sure you can handle the booze. Jaime-Paul Falcon
2708 Elm St., Dallas, blackswansaloon.com
Somehow you’ve made your way to Uptown, America, and stumbled into The Trophy Room. The swarms of SMU frat daddies almost deter you, but you are a champ and want to feel young again, so you prevail. You spy the mechanical bull in the corner with a fresh-faced blonde on it. You are unknown amount of beers in and are positive you can tackle and ride the mechanical bull better than any undergrad. One minute and $5 later, you are on the inflatable floor with your legs in the air and ass out, right back where you started: wondering where you went wrong in life. PS
2714 McKinney Ave., Dallas, thetrophyroomdallas.com
This bar has gone through so many different name changes and facelifts, we aren’t even sure if it’s really called Fry Street Public House. (Just kidding, of course we know.) Although it's cleaned up its act some over the years, its pedigree as The Drink lingers on: The bar used to let 18-plus females in, serve $0.25 well drinks and host anything from live music to University functions. After a UNT Fashion And Design Society runway show ended one fall evening, I saw two people actually having sex on the dance floor, while the bar was at capacity with a line around the building. Sara Button
125 Ave. A, Denton, frystreetpublichouse.com
6. The Old Crow
The Old Crow has Jell-O shots that are cheaper than a cheap hooker or a cheap haircut or other cheap, bad, wonderful things. Their ingredients are secret. I mean, you could probably ask someone what kind of bad liquor is in them, or you could just take our word for it and shoot back two or three and curse Satan the next morning. There are red and green ones, but don’t discriminate, because we take blackouts however we can get them. Just take one and then start a dance party at Old Crow and — sorry, we don’t remember what happens after that. PS
1911 Greenville Ave., Dallas, theoldcrow.com
5. Side Bar
Side Bar is where the budget-friendly dude-bros like to start their night. If the $0.50 (recently upped to $1) well drinks didn’t catch their attention, I’m not sure what would. The overall aesthetic is reminiscent of a very dark, stale-smelling, strikingly small college apartment that, like, five of your guy friends used to live in. Upon first glance this bar might make you think, "Hey, this has the potential to be the scene of my meet-cute." But really, you just racked up a $3 tab and got the number of some guy who knew every lyric to Brand New’s "Sic Transit Gloria ... Glory Fades," but didn’t even know who Midlake was. (It didn’t work). SB
109 Ave. A, Denton, dentonsidebar.com
Let’s say you're jonesing for some companionship, and you keep striking out on Bumble, Hinge, Grindr or Tinder. Well, you're in luck. Not that we would know, but the Stoneleigh’s hotel bar is where the “professionals” gather to chat about the weather, talk about their long flights in, and negotiate the price of the girlfriend experience with the lovely lookers who are hanging out at the bar, sipping gin and tonics and looking at their Android phones. Let’s just say the people hanging out here like to dance, and their favorite dance is one that makes you rock the boat, work a little and channnnge positions. JPF
2927 Maple Ave., Dallas, starwoodhotels.com/lemeridien
Technically a two-fer, since there are two different bars in the same building, owned by the same dude. When I think of bad decisions and Denton bars, Andy’s is the first thing that comes to mind. Despite the nice staff and new booking people, this place will always hold a weird, but special place in my heart. The best and worst thing about this bar is the jukebox in the basement, and depending on the patrons' musical preferences, your night can go from zero to shit quite fast. The bathrooms (in the basement and on the first floor) leave nothing to be desired. Still, why did so many of your college friends bang it out in those dirty, dirty bathrooms? SB
122 N. Locust St., Denton, andyslivemusic.com
I will never forget the moment I realized I was in suburbia and surrounded by swingers. I was with a couple other dudes at the bar when one of them said, “You notice anything weird going on?” That, friends, is when I realized everyone but us was in their 40s, hammered and all over each other. A siren went off in my head as I saw men kiss lady after lady, couples share knowing glances and hands get a little too familiar for a public place. I was in the land of the Bible, and the Bible was only going to be used for spankings. The ‘burbs, man; that Tom Hanks movie was dead on. They’re fucking weird. JPF
301 W. Round Grove Rd., Lewisville, thedrunkendonkey.com
1. The Tin Room
Upon walking into this dimly lit hedonist's dream, you know that The Tin Room is a place where you can make some seriously bad decisions. Blow all your money on lap dances from the impressively gorgeous male strippers, or get even nastier in the curtained-off back room, a place that should not be visited by anyone who is above a four on the Kinsey Scale. There, naughty acts (or at least the insinuation of naughty acts) are the lay of the land, and just about anything (consensual) goes. You might have to pay off your friends to get those photos back, but your trip to The Tin Room will inevitably be worth it. Be sure to stock up on condoms and hand sanitizer — you're going to need both. Amy McCarthy
2514 Hudnall, Dallas, tinroom.net
Don't forget to vote for our Readers' Choice categories in the 2015 Best Of Dallas. Voting runs through September 6 at readerschoice.dallasobserver.com.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Dallas, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.