6 People To Avoid at the Greenville Avenue St. Patrick's Day Parade

This Saturday, more than 125,000 people will stuff themselves into Greenville Avenue's taint to celebrate St. Patrick's Day exactly as one would in Ireland: with a beads parade, corn dogs and green beer. At 11 a.m., the 35th Greenville Avenue St. Patrick's Day Parade will puke all-green-errything upon Blackwell Street and Greenville Avenue. You'll be there. Because it will be amazing. And in an effort to make your St. Patrick's-ing the most fun that it could possibly be, here's a list of people you should avoid while you're there.

1) Your Wasted Coworkers

If you're doing this parade right, your brain's only recollection of your time here will be a 30-second Ken Burns-style photo slideshow of regrets. For this reason, you should never attend this parade with coworkers. If you happen to see coworkers in the crowd, hide from them behind someone's giant green cowboy hat.

KEEP THE DALLAS OBSERVER FREE... Since we started the Dallas Observer, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Dallas, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Alice Laussade writes about food, kids, music, and anything else she finds to be completely ridiculous. She created and hosts the Dallas event, Meat Fight, which is a barbecue competition and fundraiser that benefits the National MS Society. Last year, the event raised $100,000 for people living with MS, and 750 people could be seen shoving sausage links into their faces. And one time, she won a James Beard Award for Humor in Writing. That was pretty cool.
Contact: Alice Laussade