A New DC Comics-Themed Dark Ride Is Coming to Six Flags Over Texas

The Six Flags theme parks are known for giant roller coasters and drop rides that are designed to pull whatever you've been eating out of you in new and curious ways. It's an ingenious business model when you really think about it. The less food in your system, the more you're likely to spend on concessions.

The theme park chain doesn't just offer gastrointestinal interactive entertainment. It also offers some slower rides for people who don't like wondering what it's like to see their own face stretch off of their skull under extreme G-forces. Six Flags just announced a new DC Comics-themed dark ride for Six Flags Over Texas in Arlington called Justice League: Battle for Metropolis.

The ride is one of those interactive shooters that turns a simple dark ride into a competition that can lead to glory and victory for one lucky rider and utter humiliation and excuses about the gun not working for the rest.

Riders are thrown into a virtual Metropolis that has been taken over by the evil Lex Luthor and The Joker who have conveniently trapped the Green Lantern, Supergirl, Wonder Woman and The Flash in large science tubes that do something scientific to completely negate their super powers. So it's up to the riders and the remaining superheroes to fight off the Joker and Luthor's henchmen and restore Metropolis to its former glory. We're sure that they'll also come up with a way to explain why Superman can't just round them all up in a giant net and throw them into the sun the way we would if we had nearly invincible powers and an unchecked method of using them.

Six Flags released a demo video of the ride for their St. Louis theme park but it's also scheduled to be built and open for business at Six Flags Over Texas sometime in 2015.

I'm actually kind of excited that this kind of ride is coming to our Six Flags. Sure we've got a couple of superhero theme rides at our amusement park, but they don't let you do the things you really wish you could do if you were superhero besides fly and twist in the sky at unbelievably high speeds. What we really want to do is shoot bad guys in the face at point blank range.

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Danny Gallagher has been a regular contributor to the Dallas Observer since 2014. He has also written features, essays and stories for MTV, the Chicago Tribune, Maxim, Cracked, Mental_Floss, The Week, CNET and The Onion AV Club.